funnily enough I found a complete all expenses paid holiday to the dolomites

in the post this morning. it was addressed to my property but to someone else but i just open the mail and ding it in the bin or the burn bucket cos that's my routine. anyway i open up the big envelope and it contains a rather lovely little drybag from a company called "Alpine Exploratory" and I've got to be honest I've got three options now:

1. Be honest and ring up Alpine Exploratory and tell them they've done a f**k up and what would they like me to do about it, maybe send the pack onto Stephanie [redacted]? Sure thing just email me her address no worries.

2. Have a sex change and change my name by deed-poll to Stephanie [redacted] and go on the holiday up the Dolomites. Afterwards I can reverse the process no probs.

3. Ding the entire pack with details of flights, transfers, hotels, itinerary etc in the burn bin and retain the lovely little drybag for canoeing purposes.

Of course I opted for 1, why wouldn't I? Because I now know precisely when Stephanie [redacted] will be out of the country and I can burgle her house obviously. Much better than a poxy little drybag. #winning

Posted By: Tombs on July 19th 2018 at 20:47:59

Message Thread

Following on from Dubs lost property post - what's the best thing you've ever found.... (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:03:59
- Porn mag stash (n/m) (General Chat) - MIKEWALKER, Jul 19, 22:45:01
- 2 birds in a bush (n/m) (General Chat) - Ralf Scrampton, Jul 19, 21:40:09
- A mediaeval ampulla from the Walsingham shrine dated 1100 and something (n/m) (General Chat) - Tony Martin, Jul 19, 21:36:17
- The wroth (General Chat) - CauldRon, Jul 19, 21:25:34
  - X (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 21:32:39
- Jumbo’s prostate. (n/m) (General Chat) - Garry Brooke, Jul 19, 21:21:05
- funnily enough I found a complete all expenses paid holiday to the dolomites (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 20:47:59
  - I'd have had to go with no.1 - might of asked the company to (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:54:25
    - They said they would remunerate my out of pocket (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 20:57:52
      - Did any shennanigans go on to get takeaway or something off the base in the army days Mr T (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:13:02
        
        I indirectly stole a buffaloes head (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 21:25:33
        
        Despite, well, I know, you might die, forces do sound bloody good fun!!! (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:29:08
        
        Years and years ago when I was going through one of my bad times I tried to join.. (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:31:07
        
        sod that, i wouldn't even join the british legion 😂 (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 21:35:34
        
        Actually my Dr Schouller said 'I'm not trusting you to go to Sainsbury's at the moment.. (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:41:39
        
        gotta pay attention to the docs doc (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 21:44:24
        
        I know Mr Tombs and I do, twas a good foo years back! Never go back as my father says!! (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:46:51
        
        All that nonsense about a new life and all that. Very tempting when unwell. (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:42:26
      - Yo bloody right - you've stop someone possibly missing their holiday and them having (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 21:02:00
        
        *to (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 21:02:16
- A house. (General Chat) - tudders, Jul 19, 20:45:28
  - Okay.... (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:55:22
- I can't recall finding anything exciting but a mate of mine.. (General Chat) - ghostof barry butler, Jul 19, 20:43:27
  - how did he know it was cocaine? (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 20:59:38
    - Why did he take it home? (n/m) (General Chat) - tudders, Jul 19, 22:24:34
      - he was thinking about it (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Jul 19, 22:35:39
    - well the police told him (General Chat) - ghostof barry butler, Jul 19, 21:05:40
  - Bet a few of them get washed up round these parts.... (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:51:37
- £50 at the Barclays cashpoint in Wymondham (General Chat) - JoeyDeacon, Jul 19, 20:40:25
  - Well done sir! Didn't know I bank would then give it back to you if unclaimed (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:46:30
    - Yeah apparently they all will (General Chat) - JoeyDeacon, Jul 19, 20:53:07
- The clitoris (General Chat) - essexcanaryOTBC, Jul 19, 20:36:20
  - Do you have IED's email address? (n/m) (General Chat) - Pixelman, Jul 19, 20:50:41
  - Erm.... (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:37:35
- Found an Amex card on a day out in London (General Chat) - lurd, Jul 19, 20:24:10
  - Naughty naughty (n/m) (General Chat) - Steve in Holland, Jul 19, 21:17:01
  - the perfect victimless crime (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 20:59:05
    - That I made it up? (n/m) (General Chat) - lurd, Jul 19, 21:30:23
      - ahhhhhhh (General Chat) - Tombs, Jul 19, 21:54:41
  - Righto. (n/m) (General Chat) - norway, Jul 19, 20:57:26
  - fuck me , thats theft (n/m) (General Chat) - ghostof barry butler, Jul 19, 20:44:42
  - Oooh - my conscience wouldn't have let me do that! (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:32:51
- £200 in my suit jacket (that I'd not worn for about 2 years) (n/m) (General Chat) - Karnivore, Jul 19, 20:22:17
  - you've got a suit? (n/m) (General Chat) - dr fanta, Jul 19, 21:36:35
    - I've got 5 suits now. Go me! (n/m) (General Chat) - Karnivore, Jul 19, 22:04:16
  - Cor some bear money there Karn bor!! (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:02:38
    - I think I used it to clear my overdraft or something Dr D (n/m) (General Chat) - Karnivore, Jul 19, 22:05:06
  - Wowser! I get excited if a find a quid in a pair of jeans I'd forgotten about (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:24:56
    - I was stunned, no idea what I'd got it out for at all - I'd be happy to find a fiver now! (n/m) (General Chat) - Karnivore, Jul 19, 22:03:36
- a brand new sony mini-hifi, plus speakers (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Jul 19, 20:11:19
  - That's quite a find! (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:16:11
    - it helped redress the balance (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Jul 19, 20:21:41
      - Are you still coming over Worz and when sir!! (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:11:08
        
        I am (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Jul 19, 21:24:17
        
        Yay fab. FB once plans in place! (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 21:27:57
        
        yep, is that wroth up you mentioned still going ahead? (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Jul 19, 21:33:42
        
        I might be around in the city during the daytimes though (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Jul 19, 22:01:11
- £20 in a puddle when I was I'll and double skint. (General Chat) - protheroe fitzgibbon, Jul 19, 20:09:58
  - I'd have stretched that £3 to include some cider. (General Chat) - tudders, Jul 19, 20:42:44
    - I believe so,i think at the time I was actually allergic to alcohol. (General Chat) - protheroe fitzgibbon, Jul 19, 20:55:38
  - 👍 (n/m) (General Chat) - Bungle, Jul 19, 20:34:54
  - Sounds like that came at a good time! (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:14:39
    - It did,it was fr igging freezing, the year we were in the 3rd division (General Chat) - protheroe fitzgibbon, Jul 19, 20:19:22
  - Awesomeness Proth! :) (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 20:10:36
    - Ha,sorry for getting arsey.👍 (n/m) (General Chat) - protheroe fitzgibbon, Jul 19, 20:15:45
- £20 note at Pleasure Wood Park when I was about 12. Brother took it to 'hand in'. (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 20:05:07
  - That was kind of him......! (n/m) (General Chat) - Mozzer, Jul 19, 20:14:05
    - Ha ha, quite! (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Jul 19, 20:16:15
      - I found a tenner at Thruxton in about 1980,my wanker uncle claimed it (General Chat) - protheroe fitzgibbon, Jul 19, 20:21:04

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