I need Christmas puns

On the PA at the weekend for my kids' Xmas Fair. Here are some I prepared earlier but I'm sure that the Wisdom Of The Wrath can help me improve the list:

Mistle-toad
Tinselitis
Claustrophobic
Santa Pause
Subordinate Claus
Ho ho ho down
Elfabet
Elf esteem
Elfis Presley
Flue jab (so chimneys don't make him sick)
Peace on Earth; Goodwill to Men; Batteries not included
Cross a snowman with a vampire and get frostbite
Mice skates
Christmas one, Christmas two, Christmas tree
Snow man is an island
Season's bleatings

Posted By: Old Man on November 25th 2011 at 12:46:50

Message Thread

I need Christmas puns (General Chat) - Old Man, Nov 25, 12:46:50
- You should recite this, very Christmassy (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 25, 13:31:54
  - Yes. Yes, I will. (General Chat) - Old Man, Nov 25, 13:34:13
- What about "Stuffing a large moist bird" (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Nov 25, 13:27:11
  - Oh, pardon! (n/m) (General Chat) - tudders, Nov 25, 13:29:16
  - Or "taking down your wife's stocking so you can get a bit more in."? (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Nov 25, 13:28:44
    - Father Christmas only comes once a year, but when he does he fills your stockings (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 25, 13:30:10
      - Sliding in and out and emptying his sack (n/m) (General Chat) - norway, Nov 25, 13:36:37
        
        "Leaving his load on your children's bed." (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Nov 25, 13:46:42
        
        When his sack is empty he loves seeing their little shiny faces (n/m) (General Chat) - norway, Nov 25, 13:50:07
        
        No. (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 25, 14:17:32
        
        *like thumb thing* (n/m) (General Chat) - Dandy Highburyman, Nov 25, 14:00:31
        
        That's disgraceful. You should be ashamed. Honestly, some people. (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Nov 25, 13:57:53
        
        You made me - I'm telling (n/m) (General Chat) - norway, Nov 25, 14:01:12
        
        No. (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Man, Nov 25, 13:53:55
        
        Oh please (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 25, 13:52:51
        
        Apostrofail (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Nov 25, 13:47:59
        
        No (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 25, 13:52:31
        
        Isn't it? Balls was right first time. (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Nov 25, 13:57:19
        
        Yes you were (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 25, 13:58:50
        
        Yes. Fick as shit. (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Nov 25, 14:03:45
- That's quite a broad brief (General Chat) - norway, Nov 25, 13:25:15
- Can you still say Fairy Lights ? (n/m) (General Chat) - colincanary, Nov 25, 13:20:07
  - I just checked by saying those two words myself, out loud (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 25, 13:24:22
- Come to the tannoy desk and show me your Mary (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 25, 13:06:39
- I can't stop imagining this (General Chat) - Hertz van Rental, Nov 25, 12:53:42
  - anyway, to the puns... (General Chat) - Hertz van Rental, Nov 25, 12:56:03
    - Ta (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Man, Nov 25, 12:58:17
      - Cuba Pudding Jnr. (n/m) (General Chat) - Hertz van Rental, Nov 25, 13:01:16
        
        And indeed, Pud Will Hunting, I bet all the under 12s still love that film. (n/m) (General Chat) - Hertz van Rental, Nov 25, 13:01:48
    - check my balls with sows called molly (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 25, 12:56:56
      - ...can't really use that at a school fair :-) (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Man, Nov 25, 12:58:07

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