One of my most embarrassing childhood memories

My parents were at a tennis party and the children were expected to sit and be good at a children's table for high tea

It had been impressed upon me that I had to be good, which included eating everything I was given, even if I didn't like it

I was given a plate of little sandwiches, one of which was filled with ... sandwich spread. I had never encountered this vile substance before. I took a bite and nearly puked. There was no way I was going to eat THAT sucker. But what to do? I couldn't leave it on the plate.

I formed a Baldrick like plan. I would casually hold the sandwich in hand, get it below table level and then without turning round flick it backwards out through the open French windows behind me.

Plan executed to perfection ... except it all went quiet, and I turned round to see that I had missed the open window and hit the closed one ... and the sandwich had opened in flight ... and struck the glass spread side first ... and was now sliding down the glass, leaving a trail of sandwich spread as it went.

There were Words In the Car on the way home

Posted By: Old Git on November 30th 2009 at 16:42:21

Message Thread

On teh subject of spreads - anyone remember Sandwich Spread? (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 30, 16:11:00
- SHOTGUN NOISE! BANG BANG HUGE ALARM SOUND! AROOOOOOGAH!! ALLEYWAY KNIFING! (General Chat) - tehwatch, Nov 30, 16:41:46
  - Bugger, I knew that was coming (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 30, 16:43:33
    - fuck OFF!!!!!!! (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:46:47
      - He's sitting there with Miss Brahms on his knee (n/m) (General Chat) - duke of york, Nov 30, 16:48:15
        
        i always imagined him leaning back behind his desk inspecting his monocle for cleanliness (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:50:58
- Sandwich spread?! (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 30, 16:37:19
- yep, loved it. (n/m) (General Chat) - Cheltenham_Canary, Nov 30, 16:32:18
- Can you still get Fish Paste? Shiphams made it I think. It was rather grim (n/m) (General Chat) - CB41, Nov 30, 16:28:28
  - children's parties of the seventies (General Chat) - camcan, Nov 30, 16:35:34
    - Exactly. And in the 60s with these (General Chat) - CB41, Nov 30, 16:45:20
    - One of my most embarrassing childhood memories (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 30, 16:42:21
      - Wouldn't you have been outside at a tennis party? (General Chat) - duke of york, Nov 30, 16:52:22
        
        The tennis was outside (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 30, 16:55:06
      - haha (General Chat) - camcan, Nov 30, 16:48:58
        
        We did! Try that on the youth of today! (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 30, 16:55:28
        
        Progress... (n/m) (General Chat) - camcan, Nov 30, 17:02:32
      - "Tennis Party" (General Chat) - yarmyyarmy, Nov 30, 16:46:09
      - The sandwich equivalent of the Fozzy flick, excellent skillage. (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Nov 30, 16:44:15
        
        It was about as effective as the Flick, too (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Git, Nov 30, 16:56:58
        
        Shame yours isn't on you tube too. :) (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Nov 30, 16:58:04
  - dunno, but I wouldn't eat it.... (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 30, 16:30:44
- i had that in my sandwiches this very lunchtime (General Chat) - Ralf Scrampton, Nov 30, 16:20:38
  - Ralf, do you live in the nineteen seventies? (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:22:23
    - i almost missed the 1970s entirely and am certainly not old enough to remember a minute of (General Chat) - Ralf Scrampton, Nov 30, 16:28:36
      - my mother once "scooped" somewhere iro of about two dozen (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:32:39
        
        ha ha. Bet there were a few crispy tissues under there, too. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 30, 16:33:36
    - Findus Crispy Pancakes!! Yum yums!! (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Nov 30, 16:23:03
      - oooh ow ooh owwww.... *frantically wafts open gob with hand* (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:24:43
- I have found a review............... (General Chat) - DrDublin, Nov 30, 16:15:25
  - how dare he/she mention Piccalilli in the same sentence!!! (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:18:54
    - Piccalli sandwiches (General Chat) - camcan, Nov 30, 16:26:47
  - Oh yes (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 30, 16:17:31
    - Even better had the sentence just stopped with 'Bristol'. Just go there. (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Nov 30, 16:21:58
- i see your sandwich spread and raise you these... (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:13:57
  - I have no idea what that was like (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 30, 16:29:29
    - i don't think anybody on the planet has ever eaten it when sober (General Chat) - Tombs, Nov 30, 16:43:07
- poor mans coleslaw (General Chat) - gregory abbott, Nov 30, 16:13:15
- stuff to spread on bread (n/m) (General Chat) - selwyn, Nov 30, 16:13:05
  - *In*, selwyn, *in*. What was *in* it, not What was it. (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 30, 16:14:47
    - Yep, that answer'll work... (n/m) (General Chat) - Yellalee, Nov 30, 16:16:10
- Jarred vomit (n/m) (General Chat) - yarmyyarmy, Nov 30, 16:12:13
  - Ha. Agreed, that was exactly what it was *like*. Not what was *in* it though, surely? (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Nov 30, 16:13:03

Reply to Message

In order to add a post to the WotB Message Board you must be a registered WotB user.

If you are not yet registered then please visit the registration page. You should ensure that their browser is setup to accept cookies.