topical joke alert

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know."

The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer.

The mice answered, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"

Posted By: SCC 28 on September 22nd 2009 at 12:39:14

Message Thread

Dogs sickness at Sandringham......... (NCFC) - bowfront1, Sep 22, 12:13:23
- as long as it's not cats being killed, who gives a shit... (n/m) (NCFC) - Ralf Scrampton, Sep 22, 12:25:31
  - The neighbours cat which shits in my garden will be dead if I catch it... (NCFC) - Kirrie, Sep 22, 12:41:13
  - do you know if rats squeak? (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 22, 12:27:05
    - If they squeak use more lubrication (n/m) (NCFC) - BigDoh, Sep 22, 12:45:36
    - topical joke alert (NCFC) - SCC 28, Sep 22, 12:39:14
      - lol (n/m) (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 22, 12:43:28
    - they do (NCFC) - Ralf Scrampton, Sep 22, 12:31:23
      - You'd be stressed if camcan's pussy had dragged you indoors, given you a nasty nip (NCFC) - Old Git, Sep 22, 12:33:04
        
        Good lord!!! (n/m) (NCFC) - DNB41, Sep 22, 12:33:34
      - shit (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 22, 12:31:57
        
        Cheer up, it may not be a rat (NCFC) - Old Git, Sep 22, 12:37:02
        
        I'm quite a mouse expert as there's normally one a day (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 22, 12:42:37
        
        Mrs's cat (I am having fuck all to do with it) is a top top mouser but she tortures them f (NCFC) - Tombs, Sep 22, 12:45:24
        
        My old one used to eat them (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 22, 12:48:21
        
        I t will blame you as the head of the cat pack. It will be glowering from the (NCFC) - DNB41, Sep 22, 12:44:44
- What about swans? (NCFC) - Old Git, Sep 22, 12:18:16
  - mysterious swans? (NCFC) - Tombs, Sep 22, 12:19:29
    - You can't (NCFC) - Old Git, Sep 22, 12:28:46
      - lol (NCFC) - Tombs, Sep 22, 12:30:30
    - The Swan Mysterons (n/m) (NCFC) - DNB41, Sep 22, 12:20:29
      - Graham Swan and the Mysterons (n/m) (NCFC) - Tombs, Sep 22, 12:22:12
  - Haven't they all been eaten by Mauritanian immigrants? (n/m) (NCFC) - DNB41, Sep 22, 12:19:19
    - Who the fuck in their right mind would emigrate from Mauritius to nofolk (NCFC) - Tombs, Sep 22, 12:20:30
      - Not Mauritius, Mauritania (n/m) (NCFC) - DNB41, Sep 22, 12:21:39
        
        Oh I see! (NCFC) - Tombs, Sep 22, 12:26:59
        
        Thing is, they don't give a shit who GOES to the USA. (NCFC) - DNB41, Sep 22, 12:30:25
        
        Tombs took that over a while back (NCFC) - camcan, Sep 22, 12:25:53
        
        Has he enlisted Mark Thatcher as his right hand man? (n/m) (NCFC) - DNB41, Sep 22, 12:27:36
- wrathgold (n/m) (NCFC) - malkybarkid, Sep 22, 12:13:51

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