i often make my own in an old hellmans jar

when i can be arsed but it's piss easy so i really should do it all of the time.

three egg yolks, teaspoon of english mustards, glug of apple cider vinegars, fill up jar to 2/3rds with veg oil. stick blender to base of jar, power up and gradually draw it up to top of oil and bingo, loveley job. add salt and pepper to taste and more vinegars if require and bosh, as good as any mayo in the shops at a fraction of the cost.

Posted By: Tombs on December 11th 2025 at 11:46:14

Message Thread

get it off your chest: your irrational petty dislikes thread (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 10:35:26
- People calling COVID 25 'flu and not locking the country down (n/m) (General Chat) - KevinBond, Dec 11, 18:06:25
- People who moan about everything (General Chat) - ParrotPuncher, Dec 11, 17:50:00
  - Entitled? Like just because of where you are born? (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 12, 09:09:03
  - Reads to me like you’re moaning (General Chat) - APB, Dec 11, 18:28:14
  - People who complain about things being woke (n/m) (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 17:53:15
    - Wetties (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 18:13:17
- People who can’t be bothered (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 17:36:54
  - to reply to the thread (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 17:37:09
- I couldn’t care less has become I could care less (General Chat) - APB, Dec 11, 17:31:21
- Fucking Christmas (General Chat) - APB, Dec 11, 17:22:45
  - VIMTO! (n/m) (General Chat) - col canary, Dec 12, 21:01:38
  - You're not even allowed to call it Christmas anymore (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 17:46:41
- 156 replies! (n/m) (General Chat) - Tony Martin, Dec 11, 17:16:11
- Dogs (maybe their owners) Cats that sh1t in my garden, people eating their body weight in (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Dec 11, 16:55:01
  - What’s your issue with the first one? (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 17:09:49
- Yes people (n/m) (General Chat) - IG88, Dec 11, 16:52:53
  - That don’t indicate at roundabouts (General Chat) - IG88, Dec 11, 16:53:22
- My rational ones (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 16:46:33
  - 'People who won't stop coughing' isn't rational (n/m) (General Chat) - Adster, Dec 11, 17:10:33
    - Yet they still do it 🤷‍♂️ (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 17:13:32
  - hating all dog owners is as pretty fucking irrational as it gets (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 17:01:31
    - Didn’t say I hated them (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 17:07:00
      - My dog only shits in my garden (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 18:14:34
        
        conversely i took my fenton on a walk around a permissive path over yonder field (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 20:20:20
        
        Ban human owners (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 20:27:13
        
        that might work (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 20:32:46
  - I used to be that guy (General Chat) - IG88, Dec 11, 16:54:07
    - ^ Has a smelly house ^ (n/m) (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 17:08:31
- The installation of turnstiles in places where no entrance or exit control is requires. (General Chat) - Curnster, Dec 11, 16:43:01
- Just remembered - the little bits of foil on the top of things like shampoo (n/m) (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 11, 16:10:40
  - And on the tops of plastic milk containers. You pull the little tag which tears off leavin (General Chat) - Wild Edric, Dec 11, 16:31:00
- My best friend's wife (n/m) (General Chat) - 51eve, Dec 11, 15:43:28
  - Shut up (General Chat) - seminated_woolly, Dec 11, 21:17:14
  - ^ rejected his advances (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 16:12:59
- People who stop to chat or check their phone on the narrowest part of a path or corridor (General Chat) - tim berry, Dec 11, 15:38:30
- Most of these are totally rational (n/m) (General Chat) - SCC 28, Dec 11, 15:25:35
  - mood hoovers who take everything literally (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 16:07:39
    - and VAR/xG lovers obvs (n/m) (General Chat) - JD3, Dec 11, 16:34:41
- People who pronounce H As "haitch" instead of "aitch" (General Chat) - mr carra, Dec 11, 14:57:44
- two-step verification (n/m) (General Chat) - Charles21, Dec 11, 14:57:07
  - Having to say yes or no to cookies (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 14:58:43
    - ^^^completed Internet porn (n/m) (General Chat) - Chris Peacock, Dec 11, 16:03:25
- People (n/m) (General Chat) - colincanary, Dec 11, 14:41:57
  - yep (n/m) (General Chat) - Charles21, Dec 11, 14:48:26
- Chris goreham pronouncing Norridge Norrich (n/m) (General Chat) - KevinBond, Dec 11, 14:39:15
  - oh 100% (n/m) (General Chat) - Chris Peacock, Dec 11, 16:01:17
  - So do I tbf (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 14:59:22
    - Tbf we don't have to listen to you on the radio so it doesn't matter (General Chat) - Chris Peacock, Dec 11, 15:59:09
- People that queue at the bar (n/m) (General Chat) - Adster, Dec 11, 14:13:54
  - Should be shot in the face. (n/m) (General Chat) - col canary, Dec 11, 14:17:17
- British people who say “Happy Holidays” (General Chat) - Old Git, Dec 11, 13:54:46
  - Holibobs! (n/m) (General Chat) - KevinBond, Dec 11, 14:36:13
    - I don’t mind holibobs, at least it’s a British neologism (General Chat) - Old Git, Dec 11, 15:45:48
  - and ones who wish you Happy New Year well into January if they've not seen you yet (General Chat) - JD3, Dec 11, 14:04:44
    - What’s the acceptable cut off date for a cheeky HNY in your book JD3? (General Chat) - Old Git, Dec 11, 14:05:58
      - End of the first week back at work (n/m) (General Chat) - JD3, Dec 11, 15:19:00
- People who get to the front of the queue and only then realise that (General Chat) - Old Git, Dec 11, 13:52:32
  - Safeway in the Kings Road was where I first encountered this (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 11, 16:15:53
  - chortle! (n/m) (General Chat) - shoddy, Dec 11, 15:01:57
  - Old people of both genders (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 14:13:55
  - You mean 'people who identify as women'. Otherwise yes. (General Chat) - Saucerer, Dec 11, 14:09:30
- People who use football message boards for non football / sport purposes.... (General Chat) - Saucerer, Dec 11, 13:24:34
  - 🎵🎵🎵🎵🎵 (n/m) (General Chat) - Chris Peacock, Dec 11, 17:07:25
  - Disagree. For example this board is good for local knowledge and pub recommendations (General Chat) - Adster, Dec 11, 13:51:49
    - Happy with them to continue. I've had good recommendations also.... (General Chat) - Saucerer, Dec 11, 13:54:53
      - I know what you mean (General Chat) - Old Git, Dec 11, 13:57:45
        
        Yep it is.... (n/m) (General Chat) - Saucerer, Dec 11, 14:07:15
  - L (n/m) (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Dec 11, 13:50:11
  - We haven't had a quiz for a while (n/m) (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 13:32:56
    - You are right Sir. Will set one in next few days (n/m) (General Chat) - Saucerer, Dec 11, 13:52:28
    - Completed it mate (n/m) (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Dec 11, 13:50:33
  - Where is the petty dislikes board you speak of? (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 13:30:51
- Not necessarily irrational: (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Dec 11, 12:54:16
  - Agree with all that. Can I add people who say "Can I get..." instead (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 13:02:37
    - it should be "*may* I get", but there's absolutely nothing wrong with this use of "get". (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 14:45:12
      - Please may I come to have a coffee? (General Chat) - Chris Peacock, Dec 11, 16:19:21
    - Yes. (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Dec 11, 13:04:26
- Poorly trained dogs (General Chat) - Cardiff Canary, Dec 11, 12:35:58
  - He/she’s just being friendly (n/m) (General Chat) - Wild Edric, Dec 11, 13:48:25
- Life coaches (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 11, 12:30:10
  - Anyone starting an email with a sentence that includes "Reaching out"... (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 12:37:42
    - People who comment on LI posts with 'commenting for reach' (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 11, 12:48:31
- People who don't wave when you let them out in traffic (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 12:24:46
  - yep (n/m) (General Chat) - Charles21, Dec 11, 14:51:41
  - Or say thank you when you hold a door open for them (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:28:55
    - i always loudly say "thats ok no problem" if they dont say thank you. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tony Martin, Dec 11, 12:33:42
      - Me too and I say “you’re very welcome!” (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 13:25:37
        
        I say "don't mention it......you cunt" (n/m) (General Chat) - Charles21, Dec 11, 14:52:11
    - Or tut audibly (General Chat) - camcan, Dec 11, 12:33:40
- Parents who can't, or won't, control their kids in shops / restaurants (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 12:21:32
- People who order a coffee in a pub (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 12:15:08
  - What if they wanted an Irish or Baileys coffee though? Don’t think Costa/starbucks do them (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 13:29:36
  - Mrs J1 always has a latte, I have a Guinness (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Dec 11, 13:16:22
    - Which pub? (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 13:22:49
      - Fur & Feathers Woodbastwick (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Dec 11, 13:51:42
        
        ridiculous modern pub names, I don't like them at all, not one bit (n/m) (General Chat) - paulg, Dec 11, 14:56:24
        
        It’s fine in table service pubs (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 13:54:15
        
        I order at the bar (n/m) (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Dec 11, 14:05:21
        
        ^^^ Doesn't know how to use the app (n/m) (General Chat) - strap_on sally, Dec 11, 14:26:26
        
        lol (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 14:14:17
  - Well, if I'm driving it's either that, water or sickly coke from a pump, so can't agree... (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 12:39:38
    - Bring a flask… (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 12:57:09
      - Nah, you're ok. I'll stick to buying something that the venue is selling... every little h (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 13:04:14
  - Harsh, what about designated driver types? (n/m) (General Chat) - The Ghost MP1969, Dec 11, 12:17:35
    - make the fuckers wait outside (General Chat) - paulg, Dec 11, 12:21:57
      - Something you have experienced? (n/m) (General Chat) - The Ghost MP1969, Dec 11, 12:26:58
        
        You order coffee in pubs, we get it (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 12:27:43
        
        Absolutely no way!, I feel your pain too. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Ghost MP1969, Dec 11, 12:33:02
    - There are many soft drinks that don't take a bar person ages to make (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 12:20:33
      - Or maybe the Pub you encountered this in was under staffed? (n/m) (General Chat) - The Ghost MP1969, Dec 11, 12:25:21
        
        I once worked in a Spoons in Central London (General Chat) - tim berry, Dec 11, 15:36:09
- Wipes... (General Chat) - Mozzer, Dec 11, 12:14:53
  - So true! And you end up tearing them trying to (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:29:45
- The use of 'oh 100%" as a term of agreement (n/m) (General Chat) - inutero, Dec 11, 12:02:07
  - What if they give 110%............. (n/m) (General Chat) - usacanary, Dec 11, 12:28:26
    - Impossible (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:30:04
  - Hundy-P !! (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:13:33
  - Oh 100% (n/m) (General Chat) - Knitted Jesus, Dec 11, 12:12:13
- Board grammar snobs/pedants (n/m) (General Chat) - The Ghost MP1969, Dec 11, 11:59:35
  - Where's your full stop! (n/m) (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 12:41:13
  - Your right their annoying (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:02:27
- People that think they’re clever using “I” instead of “me” (General Chat) - SimonOTBC, Dec 11, 11:57:35
  - Yes, but worst is 'myself'. Garry and myself will be in the sex dungeon. (n/m) (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 12:00:09
    - me and my Garry (n/m) (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Dec 11, 12:24:27
    - PM Jumbo (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 12:13:32
- People who pull up to queue at traffic lights and leave a huge space in front of them, the (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 11:52:54
  - or pull up at lights and leave a massive gap to the car in front blocking off the option (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 11:55:56
- People who walk slowly on the pavement in front of you especially if they zig-zag. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Gaffer, Dec 11, 11:41:49
  - Yes, these people deserve to be shot in the face (n/m) (General Chat) - Cable Gap Pioneer, Dec 11, 14:06:36
  - And then stop for no reason just to look into the sky to think (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:42:14
- The proof is NOT in the pudding. (General Chat) - Snakepit Divorceee, Dec 11, 11:40:16
  - And also why wouldn’t people want to have their cake AND eat it (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:43:30
    - no you idiot (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 11:48:21
      - Ohhhh but what if I eat half and keep half (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:00:00
      - if you eat it, you still have it; just inside, and safe from familial predation. (n/m) (General Chat) - paulg, Dec 11, 11:58:32
        
        Precisely (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:00:31
- The last triangle of a Toblerone being too awkward to break off. (General Chat) - The Gaffer, Dec 11, 11:40:00
  - Had it been in the fridge/freezer? (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:43:58
    - Guilty (n/m) (General Chat) - The Gaffer, Dec 11, 11:44:42
      - Any chocolatier will tell you NEVER store chocolate in the fridge... (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 11:55:31
- People that sit on gym equipment doing social media instead of working out (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:31:09
  - A new one lately, people propping their phones up on other pieces of gym equipment to film (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 11:58:56
    - Except their social media followers (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 12:01:59
  - And, those who ask (General Chat) - Snakepit Divorceee, Dec 11, 11:41:37
    - People who say reps when they mean sets (n/m) (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 12:01:49
    - Yeh especially when you’ve just started (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:44:18
  - people who go to the gym (n/m) (General Chat) - paulg, Dec 11, 11:37:46
    - 😂 (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:44:28
  - Yes! (n/m) (General Chat) - Snakepit Divorceee, Dec 11, 11:37:12
- Tethered bottle lids (General Chat) - Legacy Fan, Dec 11, 11:29:55
  - And then back again a few more times to each other (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:35:25
- People in public (particularly supermarkets) talking on speaker phones (n/m) (General Chat) - TheGrump, Dec 11, 11:23:44
  - See also: People playing music/videos through shitty phone speakers in public (n/m) (General Chat) - Wild Edric, Dec 11, 13:46:42
  - If I win the lottery, I will carry a bag full of headphones everywhere I go and hand them (General Chat) - Legacy Fan, Dec 11, 11:30:58
- players who raise an arm solemnly before taking a corner (General Chat) - paulg, Dec 11, 11:13:55
  - and the *secret code* only used by every team in the world (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 11:24:43
    - They need code words like in the NFL (n/m) (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:36:02
      - People at bus stops who stand in the middle of the pavement (General Chat) - watfordcanary, Dec 11, 11:38:24
        
        people who queue at pret (eg) in one massive fucking long line (General Chat) - paulg, Dec 11, 12:00:19
    - may? mayo (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 11:25:50
- Hellmans plastic mayonnaise bottles (General Chat) - norwaay, Dec 11, 10:40:55
  - Always jars, not squeezy. Or even better Waitrose own brand mayo for a fraction of the (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 11:59:05
  - YES! (General Chat) - tim berry, Dec 11, 10:47:42
    - Cut the bottle in half, scrape it into another receptacle (General Chat) - jamesward, Dec 11, 10:49:14
      - I'm back on jars. (n/m) (General Chat) - norwaay, Dec 11, 11:34:21
        
        i often make my own in an old hellmans jar (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 11:46:14
        
        I'm bookmarking this! (n/m) (General Chat) - Pixelman, Dec 11, 12:01:06
        
        demo... (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 11, 14:14:27
- Overused footballer interview phrases… (General Chat) - neonyellow, Dec 11, 10:40:06
  - The fans were brilliant again today. They weren't but they have to say it. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Gaffer, Dec 11, 11:49:28
  - Like I said (General Chat) - footymadman, Dec 11, 11:45:03
    - 100% (n/m) (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Dec 11, 12:02:51
  - Obviously (n/m) (General Chat) - Legacy Fan, Dec 11, 11:31:37
  - 💯 (n/m) (General Chat) - Patchy, Dec 11, 10:58:04

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