Was round a friends many moons ago who was looking

after his parents Great Dane. First it wouldn't let them open the front door as these paws kept appearing the other side of the glass at my head height. They eventually slipped the catch and then jointly dragged this beast back in the hallway and shouted for me to come in a head straight into the living room and close the door.

Having succeeded they then appeared at the living room door whilst manfully trying to keep the animal out but failed and in came the Hound of the Baskervilles. It clawed, bit, and may have even shagged me as I was just trying to lay still and not encourage the animal. It was all over me like a rash "play fighting" and then settled down under my legs as I sat back on the sofa recovering from the beating and desperately trying not to move in case I started the bloody thing off again.

About 10 mins later there was the most disgusting smell I've ever experienced, and I've been responsible for some award winning crackers in my time. I thought I'd choke as I held my breath while you needed a knife and fork to cut through the cloud of stench that filled the room.

I turned to my mate and said "good god that was a good one" to which my mate replied "yes, sorry about that it's because he's nervous of you".

NERVOUS OF ME!

Posted By: Old Splat on March 11th 2013 at 19:51:36

Message Thread

What is that smell? (n/m) (General Chat) - Pixelman, Mar 11, 18:57:00
- I think you need some of this (General Chat) - emmaroyds, Mar 11, 19:24:18
  - excellent... seems to have sorted it (n/m) (General Chat) - Pixelman, Mar 11, 19:51:23
- No Cluhne (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Man, Mar 11, 19:21:03
- I may be wrong, but i think it is Troll Cunt. (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Mar 11, 19:10:44
  - Autotroll 2000. (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 11, 19:17:05
    - Troll-o-matic 500. (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 11, 19:21:28
- My dog keeps farting (n/m) (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Mar 11, 19:01:03
  - I once did a fart so smelly that the Dog left the room. (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 11, 19:10:59
    - Was round a friends many moons ago who was looking (General Chat) - Old Splat, Mar 11, 19:51:36
      - I love Great Danes (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 11, 20:10:10
        
        cleaning up after the brute can't be underestimated (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 11, 20:35:26
        
        you can ride them to work though (n/m) (General Chat) - emmaroyds, Mar 11, 20:11:18
    - My mate once did a fart so bad his heavily pregnant wife vomited all over him. (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 11, 19:23:19
      - ^jafski's wife, his fart^ (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Mar 11, 19:25:24
        
        FFS !! (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 11, 19:30:11
    - can't beat that (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 11, 19:19:21
    - My in-laws' boxer did a fart so bad I couldn't watch the rest of Match of the Day. (General Chat) - APB, Mar 11, 19:19:03
      - When I was a lad a lad I went around with sometimes helped his Mum out at a residential ca (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Mar 11, 19:24:31
    - yes (n/m) (General Chat) - Jumbo1, Mar 11, 19:16:30
- revenge of all the usb's (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Mar 11, 18:58:19
  - lol (n/m) (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 11, 19:09:18

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