Talking of mansions, me, Tabitha, Torquil and Bernadette were up at Piers and Annunziata's

pile in the dales last weekend.

Saturday saw a beautiful dawn, the sun rising over the grounds, reflecting off the lakes, so myself, Piers and Torquil decided to do a spot of fishing off the jetty. Piers got his man, Cavendish, to pack a basket with a few bottles of Krug Clos d?Ambonnay and we set off while the girls were still asleep.

At about midday, after catching 20 or so wild brown and rainbow trout, the girls showed up in their swimsuits, ready for an afternoon dip in the hot sun. Tabby and Annie were first in, running the length of the jetty and diving into the cool waters.

Bernadette, poor gal, slipped as she went to jump off the side and caught her Marc Jacobs swimsuit on the wicker picnic basket, tearing it asunder. She went under for a good minute or so until Cavendish hooked her out with his 8 metre Drennan.

As she came up spluttering, Piers noticed an 8lb Grayling hanging out of her fanny. I quickly grabbed Piers' Holland & Holland Royal Side by Side and blew its head off. The rest of it slipped out and fell onto the jetty with a wet slap.

That night, I went down to the kitchen for a glass of water and saw Cavendish rutting Bernie over the Aga. The moonlight was glinting off the fish scales on his cock.

Posted By: malkybarkid, Sep 21, 11:31:05