Having a Tiny Pightle of Moo in the employ of the club increases its worth both here in

the UK and abroad. We would be the only club in the whole universe to employ one and nobody would know what it was.

I envisage some hosework on the pitch in the mornings and then looking for money to buy some good players with in the afternoons, knocking off about 4 and heading to The King's with other staff of a like mind, for morale-building embibing of ales of various hues.

I think I could find approximately ?2.4m a year in revenue and would require a salary of only ?150k per annum plus a fixed bonus of ?73.00 for every Tahitian nubile I employ to hoover.

Posted By: malkybarkid on October 7th 2008 at 12:16:40

Message Thread

All this takeover talk is boring me now, So i've decided to take over myself. (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 10:47:47
- Any jobs still going? (n/m) (NCFC) - Flying Canary, Oct 7, 13:03:48
  - Lawyer (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 13:10:13
- With respect... (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 12:23:49
  - It could have been worse, buddy (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 12:27:48
  - Hence why i'm taking him out of the firing line for a while, he needs a 'rest' (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:26:22
- I'd like to be Executive Director of A Nice Cup Of Tea And A Sit Down (NCFC) - Arizona Bay, Oct 7, 12:12:27
  - My job and you knows it (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 12:24:04
    - How does the Associate Director role take you? AB will be nominally your boss (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:27:07
      - No thanks - I'm my own boss... (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 12:31:00
        
        Sub contracted Golden Goal seller then? Own boss then. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:33:31
        
        Golden Shower seller more like it (n/m) (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 12:36:06
        
        Nope (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 12:35:49
        
        Look i'm trying here ok? Match day entertainment executive? (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:39:35
        
        I'll be the announcer and club DJ... (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 12:50:07
        
        That's part of Yellow Ice's role, You can have the PA and be DJ (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:51:46
        
        I'll do what I want (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 12:54:07
        
        Well so long as that includes putting 'scum' on the scoreboard occasionally (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:56:09
        
        Re scum and the scoreboard: it's a given (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 12:59:04
        
        ^^^^ OG another contract needs drawing up. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 13:03:17
        
        I'm not drafting a contract for that shower of shite (n/m) (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 13:06:11
        
        Dunt need one (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 13:08:09
        
        You're Fired. (n/m) (NCFC) - Arizona Bay, Oct 7, 13:07:19
        
        Don't mess with me, Nipple Boy (n/m) (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 13:14:01
        
        Earth (n/m) (NCFC) - Fierce Panda, Oct 7, 13:08:53
        
        You may be a good boss but you've got a fool for an employee (n/m) (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 12:32:38
  - All prospective employees have to pass a rigorous health check (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 12:15:41
    - chronic absenteeism and breast cancer (n/m) (NCFC) - blindasabat, Oct 7, 12:26:02
    - Very well, but you won't find anyone better at sitting down and drinking tea. (n/m) (NCFC) - Arizona Bay, Oct 7, 12:17:14
      - Come back when the nipple problem has cleared up (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:22:31
        
        It's OK (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 12:27:22
        
        Not the first time someones said that to me, normally not male though............... (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:32:07
- I would appoint Selwyn as psyologist ro keep a PMA amongst the players & staff (n/m) (NCFC) - DiscoDaleGordon, Oct 7, 11:57:55
  - Hmmm, will he have time for that amongst the pig breeding? (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:05:39
- I'd like to be in charge of bringing Hucks back (NCFC) - BSE Canary, Oct 7, 11:55:48
  - You can have that, i'll need a five page report on the merits of such an action though. (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:09:04
- i'll have a job please (n/m) (NCFC) - blindasabat, Oct 7, 11:43:45
  - No, as the new club lawyer I have to advise against employing you (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 11:52:22
    - um, you've already stated it on her though (NCFC) - blindasabat, Oct 7, 12:08:21
      - I will deny that I said it (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 12:10:33
        
        the equal opportunities people will cos i'm less well-abled (NCFC) - blindasabat, Oct 7, 12:12:57
        
        I can (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 12:14:10
        
        and well suited to your position you are too... (NCFC) - blindasabat, Oct 7, 12:30:45
      - *here* not her (NCFC) - blindasabat, Oct 7, 12:08:55
    - See? He's earning his money already. He'll still be on here most of the time (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:06:46
- Can I be the club's official Tiny Pightle of Moo (NCFC) - malkybarkid, Oct 7, 11:35:46
  - you're just jealous because I got the buttock-pushing gig (n/m) (NCFC) - camcan, Oct 7, 11:49:38
    - I've a feeling that may be the result of positive discrimination, I suggest a role that (NCFC) - malkybarkid, Oct 7, 12:20:44
  - I'll need to see your thoughts on where you see that role going forward, and the impact (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:37:47
    - Having a Tiny Pightle of Moo in the employ of the club increases its worth both here in (NCFC) - malkybarkid, Oct 7, 12:16:40
      - Done, you're in. Let me know when you are off to the kings. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:21:18
- Director Of Football Genius (NCFC) - Auckland Roeder, Oct 7, 11:34:01
- I can be grammar girl (NCFC) - camcan, Oct 7, 11:27:52
  - Important role that, good choice. (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:11:18
  - And you can have spangly tights and a little cape (NCFC) - Old Git, Oct 7, 11:53:13
    - You might run the risk of some unscruplous person deliberately entering errorrs. (n/m) (NCFC) - DrDublin, Oct 7, 11:59:34
  - Done. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:34:41
- I do.... (NCFC) - Muz, Oct 7, 11:14:24
  - May I request we have more barmaids rather than the current 1:1000 ratio at the moment. (n/m) (NCFC) - DrDublin, Oct 7, 11:18:57
    - And when you finally get served the generic cooking lager, you wonder why you bothered. (n/m) (NCFC) - DrDublin, Oct 7, 11:33:48
      - In which case "purchasing manager" is yours, you'll need to work closesly with Muz (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:10:30
        
        Certainly note, I would consider it a signal honour to do so. (n/m) (NCFC) - DrDublin, Oct 7, 12:11:12
        
        *not (n/m) (NCFC) - DrDublin, Oct 7, 12:11:20
  - good interview, you're hired. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:17:02
- Can i be chief tester of Crofty's crisps? (n/m) (NCFC) - stringersrevenge, Oct 7, 11:14:06
  - I see that as being a part time role only going forward, i'll need to make some cutbacks. (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:17:52
    - with the signings of Matta and Gunn in there as head scout, this aint no PT job!! (n/m) (NCFC) - stringersrevenge, Oct 7, 13:21:52
- I'm in, geeyza job. (n/m) (NCFC) - mike_the_sphinx, Oct 7, 11:08:20
  - er, what are Sphinxs good at? Tell me your key skills. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:19:08
    - Well, (NCFC) - mike_the_sphinx, Oct 7, 11:23:01
      - OK, I'll knock down the big yella storage place and stick you there. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:34:21
        
        Whoops, premature postage. (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:36:25
        
        A Mutton Vindaloo and 6 pints and I could give them all a Bottom Growl (NCFC) - mike_the_sphinx, Oct 7, 12:03:25
        
        Done, i'll allow a small expenses budget to cover the costs. (n/m) (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:05:06
- I do. (n/m) (NCFC) - Yellow Ice, Oct 7, 11:03:08
  - looking back through your posts, you can be incharge of the PA music. (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 11:33:44
    - Excell-tent thank you. (NCFC) - Yellow Ice, Oct 7, 11:52:09
      - ooh good stuff, i've just promoted you to Chief Atmosphere officer (NCFC) - megson, Oct 7, 12:04:33

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