You don't need explanations, you just need to invent a stat about a player

and then say it's been verified by "the staff at Colney"

Like this: "The Doc can jump higher and hang in the air longer than Michael Jordan. That's been verified by the fitness staff at Colney."

See? It's easy!

Posted By: The Anonymous Blonde on August 29th 2007 at 12:50:41

Message Thread

Can anyone explain to me... (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 12:46:53
- for tracking back? (n/m) (Other Football) - conker, Aug 29, 13:55:12
- Speed (Other Football) - scruffy, Aug 29, 13:27:01
- because all footballers are dead competative like (they have to be to succeed apparently) (Other Football) - blindasabat, Aug 29, 13:12:14
  - Now that (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 13:21:40
    - If you can't fathom why the coaching staff would want to know the speed of the players (Other Football) - scruffy, Aug 29, 14:08:11
      - No players ever runs flat out for 100m on the pitch though, (Other Football) - Swiss Yellow, Aug 29, 14:14:40
        
        Players regularly need to cover ground as fast as possible (Other Football) - scruffy, Aug 29, 14:40:36
        
        how is speed over 100m important? (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 14:44:14
        
        Remind me where I said it was? (Other Football) - scruffy, Aug 29, 14:55:31
        
        er I think it was where you said: (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 14:58:07
        
        I have no idea how you misunderstood (Other Football) - scruffy, Aug 29, 15:15:27
        
        Point being that someones speed over 100m doesn't necessarily (Other Football) - BerlinCanary, Aug 29, 15:50:41
        
        Sorry didn't realise we had to do Harvard referencing here (Other Football) - scruffy, Aug 29, 16:26:02
        
        Well, since you were attempting to hang a whole argument off that point... (Other Football) - BerlinCanary, Aug 29, 16:50:14
        
        I've kpt my own council up to now, but I have heard the whole (Other Football) - Arizona Bay, Aug 29, 16:33:17
        
        If it is true, then (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 16:37:15
        
        (this is not me singling the doc out as a whipping-boy, btw... (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 16:38:50
        
        He's quickest to get to the interview microphone... (n/m) (Other Football) - BerlinCanary, Aug 29, 16:43:08
        
        but if you were interested in speed over shorter distances (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 15:38:27
        
        Not sure if that's a rhetorical question but I'm so bored I'll answer anyway (Other Football) - scruffy, Aug 29, 16:32:00
        
        That's a yellow Hawes. (n/m) (Other Football) - tudders, Aug 29, 15:44:11
        
        I am feeling a little nauseous today, yes. (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 15:46:51
        
        I really do think this could well in the tedious argument competition. (n/m) (Other Football) - tudders, Aug 29, 15:22:18
        
        Mind you, the ebay one up there^^ will be a close 2nd. (n/m) (Other Football) - tudders, Aug 29, 15:27:41
        
        what about 101m or 110m hurdles? (n/m) (Other Football) - Brandonio, Aug 29, 15:21:12
        
        * giggles * (Other Football) - Arizona Bay, Aug 29, 15:30:47
        
        But agility and balance is so important for a central defender (Other Football) - BerlinCanary, Aug 29, 15:34:40
        
        Sweet Jesus. I can't take my eyes off this. (n/m) (Other Football) - tudders, Aug 29, 15:36:33
        
        I bet Dion wins the three-legged race (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 15:38:29
        
        they'd have to find someone as tall as him to be strapped to him though (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 15:39:46
        
        I meant Dion could do it on his own (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 16:00:41
        
        I know you did. (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 16:03:16
        
        Dion & Semmy vs. Hucks & Doherty? (n/m) (Other Football) - Arizona Bay, Aug 29, 15:43:14
        
        Shut up, for fucks sake. (n/m) (Other Football) - tudders, Aug 29, 15:22:39
        
        you fucking what? (n/m) (Other Football) - Brandonio, Aug 29, 15:44:37
        
        done pretty well for Bolton over the years (n/m) (Other Football) - Brandonio, Aug 29, 14:47:20
        
        Lol (n/m) (Other Football) - Brom, Aug 29, 14:49:01
        
        Speed over 26.something mies is very important if you are a marathon race runner. (n/m) (Other Football) - Arizona Bay, Aug 29, 14:46:42
        
        this thread was about professional footballers though (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 14:53:33
        
        Good spot. Fuckun scientist my arse. (n/m) (Other Football) - tudders, Aug 29, 14:58:41
        
        You'd want a zoologist for your arse. (Other Football) - Arizona Bay, Aug 29, 15:03:46
        
        Exactly, unless you are a 100m runner (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 14:28:04
- so they can do the marshmallow race at their kids' sportsday (n/m) (Other Football) - malkybarkid, Aug 29, 12:50:52
  - Hmm. I did consider it, but then Barclay Steve should complete his claim by (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 12:57:42
- You don't need explanations, you just need to invent a stat about a player (Other Football) - The Anonymous Blonde, Aug 29, 12:50:41
  - Unfortunately, this is the most plausible answer (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 12:55:54
  - Why say (Other Football) - Barclay_Steve, Aug 29, 12:54:13
    - "You have no idea where my source came from" (Other Football) - BerlinCanary, Aug 29, 13:34:33
      - Oh give it a rest Dave. (n/m) (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 13:36:18
        
        oops. sorry - thought that a SiH post. Apols BC. And Dave. (n/m) (Other Football) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 29, 13:37:15
    - How about (Other Football) - phrankin, Aug 29, 13:32:09
      - they both benefit from a leader alongside them (Other Football) - raretek, Aug 29, 13:45:28
    - As camcan has already pointed out, it takes a long time to get behind the Doc (Other Football) - The Anonymous Blonde, Aug 29, 12:56:32
- to see if they'll be able to get away from the curryhouse without paying (n/m) (Other Football) - camcan, Aug 29, 12:50:36
  - likely (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 12:55:32
- To see if they can compete in the Beijing Olympics. (n/m) (Other Football) - Arizona Bay, Aug 29, 12:49:53
  - possible (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 12:55:26
- Enough.. (Other Football) - Barclay_Steve, Aug 29, 12:49:51
  - Yes, I just think you are full of shit with this particular story. (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 12:54:59
    - Covering yourself in glory again (Other Football) - bongo33, Aug 29, 13:18:43
      - Glory ? (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 13:20:14
    - Maybe it was downhill and they let him roll (n/m) (Other Football) - The Anonymous Blonde, Aug 29, 12:58:04
      - lol (n/m) (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 13:00:37
    - So why would I make.. (Other Football) - Barclay_Steve, Aug 29, 12:57:26
      - To support your argument that he's a jolly good player perhaps? (Other Football) - The Anonymous Blonde, Aug 29, 12:59:41
        
        I reckon he should post that claim on a Spurs forum somewhere. I think the reaction would (Other Football) - Steve in Holland, Aug 29, 13:01:20
  - Actually, I think it means that Norwich fans are quite good at spotting the weak links (Other Football) - The Anonymous Blonde, Aug 29, 12:52:35
    - Good rugby tackle on him though. (n/m) (Other Football) - Arizona Bay, Aug 29, 12:53:20
      - Oh God, I'd forgotten that (Other Football) - The Anonymous Blonde, Aug 29, 12:55:08
        
        haha agree (n/m) (Other Football) - Brandonio, Aug 29, 13:12:17

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