this one...

new Craftsman on his first day out of training in the unit and couple of lads tell him to take a petrol pump nozzle in to the ASMs office and get him to sign the form inside an internal envelope. "Don't say anything mate he is a grumpy old bastard on the best of days and he hates sprogs, so just hand him the envelope and say this is for you Sir." Remember and keep the pump nozzle upright or the ball bearing will fall out and that is what is needed fixing so hold the nozzle up high in your left hand when you give him the envelope"... "he'll know what it is and he will sign the paperwork and send you back to the stores". So the lad goes in says "Good morning Sir this is for you" and hands him the envelope with the nozzle stuck up in the air in the other hand like he was told.

The ASM opens the envelope and written on a piece of folded A4 is the following in cut out letters of different sizes and fonts from a tabloid which says "GivE mE alL YOuR FuckiNG mOnEy yOU CuNT"

Posted By: Tombs on December 30th 2020 at 20:39:25

Message Thread

I have avoided this until now, but it is now proper F.U.B.A.R. (General Chat) - shoddy, Dec 30, 19:27:22
- When I was in it was allways BER (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 19:59:56
  - BLR was Beyond Local repair... (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 20:08:56
  - BER? (n/m) (General Chat) - shoddy, Dec 30, 20:03:17
    - Beyond Everyfuckers Repair (Capabilities)... aka Beyond Economical Repair. (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 20:06:25
      - do you know the petrol pump nozzle prank? (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 30, 20:24:20
        
        I know that one... and there are many many others too.... great laugh... I'll think of a f (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 22:14:21
        
        We always sent them for a long weight. (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 22:11:09
        
        Or a tin of red and white striped paint. (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 22:14:58
        
        Box of sky hooks (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 22:15:23
        
        Always kept hanging around for them... (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 22:36:55
        
        What's that? I probably know it but can't remember. (n/m) (General Chat) - emmaroyds, Dec 30, 20:28:01
        
        this one... (General Chat) - Tombs, Dec 30, 20:39:25
        
        I havnt seen or heard the word 'sprogs' in ages!!!! (n/m) (General Chat) - Fairstead thaumaturg, Dec 30, 22:21:50
        
        Oh yes (General Chat) - shoddy, Dec 30, 20:52:43
      - fair enough!! (n/m) (General Chat) - shoddy, Dec 30, 20:09:12
        
        We didn't do that but I wish we did. (General Chat) - emmaroyds, Dec 30, 20:52:08
- You got the F.E.A.R. (General Chat) - lurd, Dec 30, 19:50:25
  - Anti vaxxer innit (n/m) (General Chat) - Lentil Weaver, Dec 30, 21:20:43
- You changed your tune in (a Wrathtastic) 9 minutes (n/m) (General Chat) - Knitted Jesus, Dec 30, 19:30:34
  - thanks buddy, I appreciate it. (n/m) (General Chat) - shoddy, Dec 30, 19:51:36

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