close all the borders last march, no flights unless state authorised by me

Issued appropriate PPE to everyone in March, all shops shut except for supermarkets, chemists, the fish van bloke that comes around on a wednesday and canoe retail outlets, get the army on the streets to shoot non mask wearers coming out of supermarkets, invent a better cheaper vaccine sooner in ridiculous quantities to sell to the rest of the world, furlough all politicans on the national living wage, ban any mention of "Covid" and "this, the most difficult of years" on TV apart from on channel 4 which will be taken over as the state Covid broadcaster, lay on a buffet for all ambulance people on thursdays. arm the RSPCA. Ban "Pointless" and "Cardi B" and have "always look on the bright side of life" playing on a loop on all the bin lorries tannoy at full tilt to cheer everyone up once a week and light up county hall in green and yellow. and anyone that f**ks off skiing or to dubai for a much needed break in a pandemic is to be extradited to the south pole. and that. that is just for starters.

Posted By: Tombs on December 30th 2020 at 16:48:12


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