Toss off some pancetta

and chuck it in the f**king bin, you won't need it for this, get some f**king ultra-ponce-grade flour, whip it up with some f**king baking powder and some f**king beer, bung the fish in that, sling the lot in seventeen lugs of your second best f**king organically-virginated veggie oil, serve it up with some mushy f**king peas and some quintuple-fried chips, go to a f**king news site, print off the front page, use it to wrap your chips in and Jacks your lad. Yes he is, Jeremy Kyle's a c**t, all them tests are fake.

You could put some f**king Maldon sea salt and cracked black pepper in your tank to prepare the fish. Maybe some lemon juice. Don't oversalt your fish before frying though or they turn as dry as a nun's c**t.

Posted By: Jamie Oliver on October 3rd 2014 at 22:40:32

Message Thread

Bought a fish tank today. Tropical freshwater (General Chat) - Tony Martin, Oct 3, 21:56:18
- Get some hardcore bastards (General Chat) - SimonOTBC, Oct 3, 22:54:01
- I kept a kipper in a bucket once for about 6 months (General Chat) - harry boulders, Oct 3, 22:49:54
  - cruel fucking bastard (n/m) (General Chat) - Hendrikos, Oct 3, 22:56:42
- Toss off some pancetta (General Chat) - Jamie Oliver, Oct 3, 22:40:32
- You need to leave it a week before putting fish in it. (General Chat) - I Am Hoot, Oct 3, 22:18:45
  - Bought "quick start" liquid (General Chat) - Tony Martin, Oct 3, 22:21:29
- How about some 'Yellow tang', very Norwich... (General Chat) - DrDublin, Oct 3, 22:18:27
  - Saltwater fish dubs (n/m) (General Chat) - Mickdundee, Oct 3, 22:29:15
    - Bung a bit of Saxa in there, that'll sort it. (n/m) (General Chat) - Yellalee, Oct 3, 22:31:19
      - lollers (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Oct 3, 22:37:01
    - Ah boo, they look rather fetching some of the fish on that stie. (n/m) (General Chat) - DrDublin, Oct 3, 22:29:55
- Shouldn't you give it a week for the water to settle. (General Chat) - Arganth, Oct 3, 22:11:02
  - Bought a special liquid that sorts it in 24hrs (General Chat) - Tony Martin, Oct 3, 22:23:08
    - OK. Where are you thinking of getting the fish from? (n/m) (General Chat) - Arganth, Oct 3, 22:42:36
      - All the Mums go to Iceland (General Chat) - Jamie Oliver, Oct 3, 22:43:30
- I got a goldfish off the mart once. (n/m) (General Chat) - protheroe fitzgibbon, Oct 3, 21:59:49
  - I reckon about 5% of people on here know what you're talking about... (n/m) (General Chat) - Yellalee, Oct 3, 22:03:08
    - yeah, they dunt speak proppa norfolk. (n/m) (General Chat) - protheroe fitzgibbon, Oct 3, 22:05:44
- Cichlids awesome freshwater fish but aggressive (General Chat) - Mickdundee, Oct 3, 21:59:12
  - Yeah the bloke in shop said if you get them (General Chat) - Tony Martin, Oct 3, 22:00:53

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