What if, right, a woman who was big and smelt and lived in a tree (say The Eagle's Nest

down Liston Lane in Long Melford) had stolen your favourite nightie and a dog and then she came up to you while you were having a piss in the pub (like The Kings), rubbed your neck with her breath and said "your nightie is history and the dog shaved - unless you, either: plant some cress in a girl's twimsyhole (and put it under a hotlight so it grows quick) or balance a carved mask from kenya on your mum's best friend's leggings"

How would you cope with that and what would you choose? Also what tune would you listen to whilst you had to perform one of those disturbing and slightly insanitary tasks?

watchagonnado?

Posted By: malkybarkid on October 27th 2005 at 20:10:26

Message Thread

What if, right, a woman who was big and smelt and lived in a tree (say The Eagle's Nest (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Oct 27, 20:10:26
- Erm... probably the first one and... (General Chat) - Small, Oct 27, 21:27:59
- Kill her sister (General Chat) - BerlinCanary, Oct 27, 20:39:25
  - Wrong meeting. That's the one we're having down at the docks tomorrow. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Tudster, Oct 27, 20:41:35
  - probably but thass noo matters (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Oct 27, 20:40:44
- My mum asked me that yesterday. I'll answer you as I did her. (General Chat) - The Tudster, Oct 27, 20:21:58
  - Size I haven't decided but the smell was akin to a sock with varnish (diamond hard) on it (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Oct 27, 20:31:12
- I'd listen to 'Outbreak of Vitus Gerulaitis' by Half Man Half Biscuit. (General Chat) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Oct 27, 20:13:51
  - thanks Otto - one of only 5 people ever to indulge me in my conundrum world (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Oct 27, 20:15:42
    - I'm at work - probably wouldn't happen any other time. (General Chat) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Oct 27, 20:18:46
      - Eisenstein is like a mother to me, and, film, her lactating teats (n/m) (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Oct 27, 20:25:04
        
        I feel the same - with Vertov and Dovzhenko as fathers warring over long-haired custody. (n/m) (General Chat) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Oct 27, 21:32:25
    - what about loveshacks problem below? (n/m) (General Chat) - pants, Oct 27, 20:16:39
      - It's interesting, if lacking in capitals. However my answer would be to keep the barmaid (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Oct 27, 20:23:21
        
        "spatula" (General Chat) - BerlinCanary, Oct 27, 20:40:46
        
        fuckan wars! I dint, hare goo look.. (General Chat) - malkybarkid, Oct 27, 20:47:06
        
        Canoe paddles for mice. Or lazy beavers. (n/m) (General Chat) - The Tudster, Oct 27, 20:49:30
        
        and there you have it Loveshack (General Chat) - pants, Oct 27, 20:25:41
      - Malky's was better. (n/m) (General Chat) - Ottosson Foxtrot, Oct 27, 20:19:31

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