In the meantime I'll tell you a slightly amusing story from my hols

I went to Peru and I was staying in this small town on the edge of the amazon basin called Cachapoyas. Anyway, at the place I was staying there was a very odd, yet extremely fit woman working at reception. Anyway, I was my normal friendly self and I noticed she started really blushing whenever I showed up, so naturally I thought... hmm, I'm in here.
So, I worked the old magic on her and after a day or two she agreed to go out for a dance (I hate dancing and am mostly s**t at it). First though I invited her for a meal along with this middle-aged couple I'd met the day before at a giant waterfall.

So, I went to pick her up later on to take her to this eatery and as things seeming to be going well on the way we ended up having a snog in a doorway. We finally get to the restaurant after a couple more feels and sit down and order. She and this couple start chatting and I notice the girl has no idea how to use knife and fork. I mean almost literally no idea.
So after I help her out and show her how to cut up her food, this middle aged guy asks her what she does and she says "I work at x hotel and study." HE says where and she replies "at........... school".
I'm sitting there wondering if she means some professional college or summat and in the meantime old guy asks her how old she is....

16 ffs. I proper spurted beer out of my nose when she said that. Needless to say the rest of the night was a bit uncomfortable and I ended up making my excuses and making it an early one.
I had no idea I swear. Thought she was about 28-29 ffs.

Posted By: Worzel Scrimmage on September 15th 2011 at 20:17:19

Message Thread

Hey Wuzz (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:20:15
- WUZZ!!!!! (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:22:12
  - CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG WUZZER!!!!! CLANG CLANG CLANG (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:23:47
    - (AIRHORN BLAST) CLANGCLANG WUZZER!!!!!!! (AIRHORN BLAST) WUZZER!!!!!! (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:25:06
      - (mounts bank of amplifiers into a stack; connects mega-PA system; connects mic) W U Z Z A (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:26:52
        
        O fuck, he's logged out. (seethe) (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:27:30
        
        (lights candles, burns chicken feathers, does a big concentrate) wuuuzzzzeeeerrrrr...... (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:33:47
        
        (trains pigeon to fly to Chile. writes "Wuzza!" on scrap of paper.) (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:39:04
        
        (throws it away. writes "Fuck you then" on new piece. Ties to pigeon's leg. Sends pigeon) (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:41:00
        
        are you ok? (n/m) (General Chat) - Huge Small, Sep 15, 18:51:14
        
        Fine, ta. (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:54:05
        
        I know a Pigeon fancier if that's aNY HELP (n/m) (General Chat) - Huge Small, Sep 15, 19:06:49
        
        in fairness, they ARE damn sexy, pigeons. (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:12:08
- Wuzz........ (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 18:21:22
  - Suggs, what in the name of all things holy do you want? (n/m) (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:01:39
    - SUUUUUGGGGGGGS!!!!!! (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:03:00
      - just heard the faint sound of someone shouting WUZZA over a mic (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:04:05
        
        fucks sake buh, you've got me all het up now (n/m) (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:05:24
        
        Oh! There you are. (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:07:33
        
        WUZZ. (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:10:34
        
        w (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:11:25
        
        u (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:14:02
        
        yes, here I am with bated breath (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:13:29
        
        Oh.................... it's nothing really. (sigh) (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:14:32
        
        By the way: if a pigeon arrives at your window in a couple of days' time (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:15:50
        
        I'll eat it (n/m) (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:18:15
        
        (He'll bum it) (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:19:03
        
        wrap the fucker in clingfilm so it doesn't split (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:20:45
        
        that's ok (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:15:20
        
        No, seriously (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:16:54
        
        Mel from wages finally gave in? (n/m) (General Chat) - Huge Small, Sep 15, 19:20:14
        
        do go on (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:19:32
        
        You'll no doubt recall me mentioning (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:23:44
        
        fruit! Never heard the like (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:39:28
        
        Nah, can't do that really (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:43:43
        
        hmm, I wouldn't let that stop you (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:45:08
        
        See, you're seeing sommat that isn't actually there (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 20:01:42
        
        I can't recall anyone programming a fruit purchasing and eating session for me before (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 20:20:14
        
        ang on a sec - on the phone (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:47:16
        
        In the meantime I'll tell you a slightly amusing story from my hols (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 20:17:19
        
        Hello? Have you fainted? (n/m) (General Chat) - Sugbad The Bad, Sep 15, 19:33:40
        
        on second thoughts it might be with that woman (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Sep 15, 19:21:56

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