i have heard conflicting advice re polar bear attack situation response gambits

one school of thought is to lie on the ground and waggle an arm about (perferably your non-dominant arm) in the hope that the bear will rip it off and be sated with a buffalo wing type human snack, this should buy you enough time to run to the nearest police station or climb a tree. the other tactic involves shooting the f**king thing in between the eyes.

you pays your money....

Posted By: Tombs on August 5th 2011 at 15:34:34

Message Thread

a summer holiday destination avoidance advisory.... (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:27:56
- I thought you were legally obliged to carry a gun in Spitsbergen, for this very reason ? (n/m) (General Chat) - Steve in Holland, Aug 5, 15:34:26
  - he might have been a conchy? (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:37:14
- there's a joke about Norwegian white extremist polar bears in there somehow by the way (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 5, 15:31:09
  - indeed, pretty rock and roll way to meet your maker though (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:36:34
- dunno why, but i did let out a little wee when i heard this on my in-vehicle wireless (General Chat) - Cheltenham_Canary, Aug 5, 15:30:54
  - i have heard conflicting advice re polar bear attack situation response gambits (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:34:34
    - A punch on the nose suffices (General Chat) - Brandonio, Aug 5, 15:37:48
      - Anything dangerous except the Norfolk Poomer I bet (n/m) (General Chat) - Huge 5mal1, Aug 5, 15:40:33
        
        or the honey badger (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:44:54
        
        Ah yes...the Norfolk Poomer however is uncatchable, it looks fucking quick to me (General Chat) - Brandonio, Aug 5, 15:42:48
      - I was reading about bears earlier - a full size male polar bear can be 10ft tall on it's h (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 5, 15:40:18
        
        You could stand on a massive Fox's Glacier mint. (n/m) (General Chat) - Ken Dodds Dads Dog, Aug 5, 15:49:37
        
        There used to be a stuffed polar bear on its hind legs in the natural history part of the (General Chat) - Claygate_Canary, Aug 5, 15:44:34
        
        King's Lynn museum has a stuffed pike. (n/m) (General Chat) - yarmyyarmy, Aug 5, 15:45:59
        
        You see a lot of stuffed pikes in pubs. And stuffed carps. Why is that? (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 5, 15:48:33
        
        Hang on a fucking minute. "King's Lynn Museum"??? (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Aug 5, 15:49:32
        
        To be fair, it was there about 20 years ago (General Chat) - yarmyyarmy, Aug 5, 15:51:03
        
        don't tell him pike (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:49:05
        
        Castle Museum had a wooden pike in the armoury (n/m) (General Chat) - Claygate_Canary, Aug 5, 15:47:53
        
        what time does it shut? (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:46:39
        
        it doesn't shut, it's stuffed ffs (n/m) (General Chat) - Claygate_Canary, Aug 5, 15:49:04
        
        This message seems to have been overlooked for an 'arf' (General Chat) - Hertz van Rental, Aug 5, 21:06:40
        
        Half-8. You'll have to get your "skates" on (n/m) (General Chat) - yarmyyarmy, Aug 5, 15:49:03
        
        Keep on reeling them in (n/m) (General Chat) - Claygate_Canary, Aug 5, 15:52:14
        
        make a lot of aggressive noises I heard is the other tactic (General Chat) - Brandonio, Aug 5, 15:44:07
        
        or a spacehopper (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:43:33
        
        Nelson would have killed it with his bear hands (General Chat) - Claygate_Canary, Aug 5, 15:42:34
- hello tombs (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Aug 5, 15:28:36
  - bonjour le trick (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Aug 5, 15:29:38

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