I think that the CORRECT advice is: "stay up the head end"

The bad stuff, by which I mean the stuff that puts you off sex for life, is happening below waist level. So stay high, stay focused on the eyes, murmur encouragement and NEVER LOOK DOWN

Then you get New Man kudos and no erectile dysfunction

Posted By: Old Git on March 3rd 2010 at 13:49:48

Message Thread

MOLTO IMPORTANTO!!!! FAO: MEGGERS!!! URGENT!! KLAXON!!! (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:18:29
- Agreed (General Chat) - jamesward, Mar 3, 13:58:27
  - you should post this thread on mumsnet and see what happens (n/m) (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 3, 14:01:47
    - maybe post it under the heading (General Chat) - jamesward, Mar 3, 14:03:49
- You know, I rather hope (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Mar 3, 13:56:17
  - PSP this... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:58:49
    - I'll bring it to the top later so he sees it (n/m) (General Chat) - jamesward, Mar 3, 14:03:03
- I think that the CORRECT advice is: "stay up the head end" (General Chat) - Old Git, Mar 3, 13:49:48
  - Yep. It's a marvellous area of mystery and wonder (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 3, 13:52:08
  - yup. Second this advice. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Mar 3, 13:51:10
    - meant to add (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Mar 3, 13:52:02
      - What a bizarre invitation (General Chat) - Old Git, Mar 3, 13:54:05
        
        indeed. Have never regretted saying no. Not for a moment. (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Mar 3, 13:55:11
- Oh my, a boy, we wanted a boy didn't we dear? Oh gosh, you fanny's a right mess! (n/m) (General Chat) - pants, Mar 3, 13:40:47
  - ^^^ single and likely to remain that way ^^^ (n/m) (General Chat) - Old Git, Mar 3, 13:50:27
    - ^^^blub and no sense of humour alert^^^ (n/m) (General Chat) - pants, Mar 3, 13:52:13
- Unless your kids are incredibly premature and you're not sure whether they'll survive. (n/m) (General Chat) - Arganth, Mar 3, 13:40:46
  - well we did go through that business (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:42:20
    - Yep, me too. (General Chat) - Arganth, Mar 3, 13:45:31
      - Mine had to go into intensive care due too a bit of fluid on his lungs (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 3, 13:48:06
      - Even if I had the snip I'd still be uber-potent... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:46:54
        
        read as ^^^has issues, probably can't get it up^^^ (n/m) (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:48:16
        
        No, it clearly doesn't say or suggest that... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:49:26
        
        No! I can't get mine down at the moment! (n/m) (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:50:17
        
        You'll go blind (n/m) (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:52:21
        
        I hver pfrfhct ieysigft (n/m) (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:53:02
- What's wrong with you whimps, of course you have to be at the birth of your children! (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:33:22
  - "active part"? All I did was repeat whatever the midwife said... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:35:56
    - this is correct (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:39:21
      - I bet you didn't change nappies as well (n/m) (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:39:59
        
        It were a way of life for me... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:41:06
        
        ha ha, I remember that...checking the RAL every motion (n/m) (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:42:20
        
        I doubt he kept the same pair on throughout the entire thing, BSE. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Mar 3, 13:40:27
        
        oh mine! (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:41:31
    - and the pooing (n/m) (General Chat) - Ralf Scrampton, Mar 3, 13:38:01
      - you could go to the toliet for that, I'm sure your wife wouldn't have minded (n/m) (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:39:07
    - stitches (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 3, 13:38:00
      - looking back on it all now though (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:40:22
  - I did the hard part (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:33:55
    - What, gave birth? (n/m) (General Chat) - BSE Canary, Mar 3, 13:34:27
      - Why do babies come out when they're almost to big to fit? (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 3, 13:36:08
        
        with arms (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:37:06
      - no, gave up his freedom forever (n/m) (General Chat) - Worzel Scrimmage, Mar 3, 13:35:59
      - if it was that difficult they'd have quit doing it by now (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:35:35
      - No. Just a small cock up at the start. (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 3, 13:35:13
        
        busiest twenty seconds of my life (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:36:12
        
        You did it twice? (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 3, 13:39:38
        
        pump pump pump........"oh sorry about that" (n/m) (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 3, 13:41:30
        
        ^^ Bitter, bitter experience. ^^ (n/m) (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 3, 13:42:58
- But do call your child Humberto (n/m) (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:20:05
  - he may call it anything he wants but HE MUST STAY AWAY FROM THE BIRTH CLUMP (n/m) (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:21:13
    - no-one gets to stay away from that these days, Tombs (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Mar 3, 13:22:40
      - he might as well go to flying the space shuttle lessons or quantum physics for professors (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:25:52
        
        Don't you get to have a go on the Gasandair though? (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Mar 3, 13:27:03
        
        Yes. And that is the best bit. (General Chat) - jafski, Mar 3, 13:30:26
        
        "And that's coming from me". ha ha. (n/m) (General Chat) - Tricky Hawes, Mar 3, 13:31:31
        
        Yes, also "haha". (n/m) (General Chat) - Arizona Bay, Mar 3, 13:32:39
        
        there's now WAY ON EARTH you are getting the gas and air mask of her mate (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:30:08
        
        Oh I did (n/m) (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:30:29
        
        didn't have anytime for gas 'n' air, on either occasion (n/m) (General Chat) - Ralf Scrampton, Mar 3, 13:33:18
        
        Nor did I but when they tried induced her I did... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:37:21
        
        even with Scrampton Jnr Snr having been induced didn't have time (General Chat) - Ralf Scrampton, Mar 3, 13:40:20
        
        Ah, right, your Mrs has the same thing that mine did... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:44:04
        
        why would you name the cord "baby humbert"? (General Chat) - camcan, Mar 3, 13:26:46
        
        you should be at advanced quantum physics for professors of space shuttle flight lessons (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:28:39
      - You don't have to look down there though (General Chat) - Huge Small, Mar 3, 13:25:19
        
        It was probably one of the worst things I've ever seen... (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:27:07
        
        and the very high chance of Mrs Megson pooing herself (General Chat) - Ralf Scrampton, Mar 3, 13:35:27
        
        could take his laptop in i suppose (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:27:00
        
        My friend's husband took notes all the way through (General Chat) - camcan, Mar 3, 13:28:29
        
        After my eldest fought his way into this world they asked my wife if she'd like anything a (General Chat) - Tombs, Mar 3, 13:32:00
        
        Was he preparing for a lecture..? (n/m) (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:29:01
        
        He wrote a very lengthy article in the NCT magazine afterwards (General Chat) - camcan, Mar 3, 13:29:43
        
        Do some UStreamage (n/m) (General Chat) - Steve in Holland, Mar 3, 13:31:07
        
        That reads a bit wrong (n/m) (General Chat) - Fierce Panda, Mar 3, 13:33:26

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