Have a read of the Fiver#s take on it from last night. That'll chill you right down.

AND NOW, FROM NORWICH, IT'S THE QUIZ OF THE WEEK!

1. What happened at half-time during the Norwich City v Derby County match in the Championship on October 4 2008?

(a) A fistfight broke out on the pitch over the ?6 first prize for Canaries Lotto, between Roger Teddington from Diss, who had winning ticket No81, and Geoff Bagshaw-Haugh of Kings Lynn, who had ticket No18 but was convinced it said 81.
(b) A fistfight broke out on the pitch between Roger Teddington from Diss and Geoff Bagshaw-Haugh of Kings Lynn, as Geoff reckoned Roger had been sleeping with his wife.
(c) Delia Smith drank three bottles of cooking sherry, grabbed the PA mic, and then sang three verses of Show Me The Way To Go Home before getting fed up and segueing into Oh Danny Boy.
(d) There was an irregular flood of money taken by bookmakers from punters in the Far East on the match.

2. What eventuality were they betting on?

(a) That Miriam Bagshaw-Haugh would leave Geoff for Roger Teddington of Diss, filing for divorce before the 90 minutes were up.
(b) That Norwich City would win, which is what looked like happening when Derby County keeper Roy Carroll gave away a penalty and got sent off after five minutes of the second half for a head-kick on Leroy Lita.
(c) That Derby County would win, which is what did happen after Norwich keeper Andy Marshall went walkabout to allow Nathan Ellington to roll the winner into an empty net.
(d) Don't know, nobody knows, or at least nobody's saying for legal purposes.

3. What is the FA doing?

(a) Having a long lunch at that new restaurant which has opened up just down the road from Soho Square, the one next to the jazz-dancing bar.
(b) Having a quick lunch at that new restaurant which has opened up just down the road from Soho Square before going in for a "meeting" with a "client" in one of the "meeting rooms" at the jazz-dancing bar.
(c) Sending a delegation to Carrow Road to help the janitor try to talk Geoff Bagshaw-Haugh out of the bogs, where he has locked himself in since Saturday. He is crying a lot.
(d) Sending a delegation to Carrow Road to enforce bookmakers to assist in match-fixing inquiries.

4. Is the very sketchy nature of this story a result of the Fiver treading carefully like a proper journalist for once?

(a) Yes

5. But you're prepared to make cheap jokes about the FA trudging en masse to a "jazz dancing bar"?

(a) The Fiver is only human, a mass of contradictions made flesh.

Posted By: Arizona Bay, Oct 17, 10:03:56