Otto: no, no, no, no, no, no, NO. And the rest of you: NO. NO. NO.

The worst song ever recorded by anyone is Wind Of Change by The Scorpions.

Every moment of it is unutterably dreadful and yet it manages to get worse as it goes on. It is so bad that no song can ever be worse: unspeakably bad songs of the future can only ever be AS bad.

"She's so lovely" goes close, but nobody'll ever do the Slow Wavey Arms Over Head dance to that.

Similarly, anything by any of these currently popular bouncy crap bands like Wombats, Pigeon Detectives, ummmm, you know who they are - any of these may produce entire catalogues of eye-gouging drivel: but nobody'll lhold aloft their blazing zippos in solemn tributes to anything they concoct.

One day I'll tell you the story of a miserable period of a few days over Xmas/New year the year before last: for now, let me just say that I endured a spell of shockingly bad luck and horrible expense. Absolutely unquestionably the worst part of that weekish was listening to someone singing WoC on a building site behind me as I waited in the rain for a cancelled train.

I believe that some songs drift around in the ether, waiting for a creative mind to settle into. Any of us who've ever written songs will have produced at least one that we know to be too good for their usual standard.

Well, i believe that WoC was created in the deepest circles of Satan's inky cackhole by Masters of Dark Evil and sent up to us specifically to bring unending torment to the living walking race.

Only Germans could've recorded it without spewing their entire body mass through their searing ragged lips. And most Germans wouldn't have. They'd have chucked it away, and lived the rest of their lives in monastic penance.

That is all. Now go about your lives in peace, and don't be so damn silly in future.

Thank you.

Posted By: Sugbad The Bad, Aug 14, 17:55:08