FAO Pants Brady and her Column of doom.....

DEC 19

NORWICH manager Glenn Roeder has been going on and on about how we are preventing his club from buying our centre-back Martin Taylor.

He is sounding like Violet Elizabeth threatening William she will ?scream and scream ?til I?m sick.?

Glenn is certain on-loan Martin wants to join the Canaries in a ?750,000 transfer, while we are certain we want to sell him to QPR for ?1m. The difference, Glenn, is ?250,000. We are not a charity. Make it up and he could be yours.

DEC 20

WE were disappointed Arsenal would not extend the loan of 20-year-old defender Johan Djourou, another of their exciting, talented youngsters. Have they a breeding programme? They are all self-assured and well-mannered like their manager.

This is not flattery towards Arsene Wenger. After our club party ? wives, girlfriends and staff included ? Fabrice Muamba, also brought up the Arsenal way, sent me his first England Under-21 shirt signed ?To Karren and staff at BCFC, with thanks for all your help and support in 2007?.

It contrasts with the goings-on among those Manchester United players whose behaviour at their marathon party was sick-making.

DEC 21

THIS is the day my club knows again where we are going. It has been a pantomime since the board sold 29.9% of shares to Hong Kong businessman Carson Yeung on the understanding he?d take over the club.

Nothing has happened and now Aladdin is back in his bottle. The deal is off. Aladdin will have to find out what to do with his shares, said to be worth a third of the ?15m he paid for them.

DEC 23

AN UNUSUAL Christmas card arrives for my husband. We get hundreds, but this one certainly caught my eye.

A naked footballer (his old team-mate) on all fours in front of an open fire with his wife sitting on his back. The message reads ?roasting my nuts on an open fire, magnifying glass not required?.

I am not taking up my husband?s suggestion that we follow suit next year. I have no desire to get to know Three Wise Men better!

DEC 26

GREAT home win, three goals against Middlesbrough with Fulham to come on Saturday. I?m praying for the full points to move us away from the anxiety belt.

They say it?s tough at the top but it?s a b***h at the bottom.

One thing mystifies us at the moment. Prices were low, it was Boxing Day, we have a new manager and our football isn?t at all bad, yet the match wasn?t a sell-out.

Maybe the lower clubs are beginning to suffer because the kids think it?s funkier to back the glamour names, or it?s something else. I only wish I knew.

January 1

THE transfer window opens and that means the phone will be ringing from 6am until 1am.

We plan to sell five or six players and buy two or three of high quality.

Obviously Alex McLeish wants the best but that?s rarely possible simply because nobody wants to sell their top players. So if we?re not careful we end up having much of the same.

We only drew our key game with Fulham at home on Saturday. That?s a warning.
January 3

HOW to win friends ?agent-style?. Dennis Roach, acting in a deal with Crystal Palace, asks me: ?How is the new baby? You have just had a baby, haven?t you?? ?Err, not that I?ve noticed.?

Nice to hear from Palace, with whom we?ve tangled in the past. Simon Jordan and David Gold have learned, in the end, we have to live together.
January 4

START talking to Man City about buying striker Georgios Samaras. City boss Sven?s time as England manager was spoiled by stories about his private life, says agent Athol Still ? adding now he?s no longer seeing Nancy Dell?Olio things are easier.

I bet it would be even easier if he told her that! Anyway, the Swede is such a charmer he?ll never be short of a blonde to enhance his duvet. His quiet authority didn?t quite work with England but how different is his approach to our former manager Barry Fry?s?

Baz used to slouch into board meetings with the greeting, ?Hello, you f***ers.?
January 5

WHY is it there are fans who spend ?30 or so to watch a match and think they have also paid for the right to abuse and insult players personally?

I?ve had some myself. One lot sang ?Karren Brady is a whore? and my nan, a little deaf, asked what they were saying. I said: ?Karren Brady is 24.? Nan: ?That?s nice.?

I?ve often been called a slag and my husband is pretty used to ?Peschidildo? by now.

So Jamie Carragher has my sympathy over the Luton incident. I can quite believe Carragher was spat at and abused. Outside Kenilworth Road, the yobs would have been in danger of arrest.
January 7

?VIOLET ELIZABETH here.? I do a double-take before realising Glenn Roeder had read my Sun piece about him ?screaming, screaming till I?m sick? because we wouldn?t sell him Martin Taylor at a bargain-basement price.

As Spurs chairman texts me ?You want Harrods quality at Woolworths prices?, Glenn and I compare brains. We?ve both had brain ops. He doesn?t care what the papers say, it has to be better than being six feet under. No question.
January 8

GRIEF. The Bosko Balaban Condition claims me. Remember Bosko? The Croatian who cost Villa ?6million and never started a game.

Rowan Vine?s return is better, one goal in 19 games but we paid Luton ?2.75m ? and lost ?1.75m on a deal with QPR.

Add to that wages, signing on fee, agent?s cut, five per cent league levy while Portsmouth and Luton were also on percentages. Some loss.
January 9

YOU have to love The Sun, don?t you? Today on page 3 is a story about Alan Hansen demanding payment for heating his house during the time he was being interviewed there.

Short hands, long pockets, Scots? Nae pal. I?m having the same sort of talks with Hibs for full-back David Murphy. Will they never end?
January 10

MAYBE his ?5million compensation will help but I know how Sam Allardyce must feel because I have also been sacked by Mike Ashley.

We signed a shirt contract with his company but Ashley ended it as he said I was too difficult to deal with. He?s a trader, a chancer and a doer.

One thing I?m sure of is he?ll make his club a success. Not before lots more heads roll, though.

Posted By: phrankin, Jul 16, 11:16:50