Bert Cornell, a stallholder at Bethnal Green market

has been condemned by critics for his innovative decision to move away from the traditional roots of cockney rhyming slang and introduce new terms for everyday items that reflect modern tastes in non-rhyming poetry.

‘I’ve bleedin’ ‘ad enough of “me old china” this, and “Adam and Eve” that,’ claimed Cornell.

‘When was the last time you saw anyone rhyming on telly since they retired that Pam Ayres bint?

So instead of “apples and pears” for stairs, I like to say I’m just heading up; “The childhood hill of dreams, to the eiderdown oasis of peace, far from the rumblings of discontent in the valleys of past generations, still audible in the twilight of the landing”.

Or “rumblings” for short.’

Posted By: malkybarkid, May 21, 10:48:00