Shit

* "My ambulance was sent
to a woman complaining of abdominal pain. My
partner Fabio and I can handle a lot of gross
smells but this smelled like the patient had
done a s**t, vomited into said s**t, let it
ferment in piss for a week, added a heaped
tablespoon of vinegar flavoured rat cum and
then re-ingested the lot and shat it out again.
There was s**t on the sofa, s**t in the carpet,
s**tty hand prints on the walls, s**t all over
the patient (who had passed out and was lying
in the s**tty s**t) and there was s**t in the
s**t. Fortunately, my partner was patient care
officer on this job thus enabling me to tread
s**t whilst alternately making fake dry
retching noises and laughing at his genuine
retching. About a week later we received a
thank-you card from the patient which
surprisingly did not smell of s**t. She was
very embarrassed by the whole situation and was
profusely apologetic. Before my partner saw the
card I forged an extra line of writing which
said: "Fabio, did your thumb slip up my arse
because of the s**t or was that just a way of
stopping me doing any more? Either way, it was
nice. Call me." I added a couple of brown thumb
prints to the card courtesy of Cadbury's. He
actually dry retched on reading it, which was
nice." (emadex)

b3ta

Posted By: Arizona Bay, Apr 4, 16:02:24