When I was about five I nicked a sprout from the Co-op. My sister nicked a sugar cube from

No. 4 cafe on Long Melford High Street around the same time.

About a week after that I went blackberry picking with Brian Stringer - he had a brand new Chopper and I had a ratty old second hand girl's bike.

We were both going for the biggest blackberry in the world ever, it was doing a dangle over loads of stingers and brambles. Our resulting collision as we went to pick the bulging, fulsome, turgid fruit ended up with Brian in the stingers and full of thorns.

He was screaming like a good'un so I suggested that he take my bike back to his Mum's for Germoline and a cup of milk.

I caressed the Chopper lovingly as I mounted it and set off. I think I ended up in Colchester and didn't get back to his house until about 5 hours later.

Imagine that.

Posted By: malkybarkid, Apr 2, 13:15:11