Couple of jokes I heard this morning

Humpty Dumpty sat on a rock

Little Bo-Peep was sucking his cock

As soon as he came she started to weep

She knew by the taste he’d been f**king her sheep



A man was feeling depressed so he called the Samaritans. He got through to a Pakistani. He told them he was feeling suicidal. “Oh good” said the Pakistani, “can you fly a plane?”



What do a prostitute and a bowling ball have in common? They both get picked up, fingered and then slammed down an alley.



Little Lewis wanted a new bike. He asked his dad who told him “we have a mortgage for £80K and we can’t afford a bike”. The next day Lewis packed his case and headed for the door. His dad asked “where are you going?” Lewis replied, “well I went past your room last night and I heard you said you were pulling out, then Mum said to wait because she was coming too, I don’t want to be left here with an £80K mortgage and no f**king bike”.

It's hard being a dyslexic man, yesterday I got sleeping tablets and viagra mixed up and ended up having 40 w**ks.

Posted By: donkeydublin, Nov 2, 09:02:22