Wet Spam and are you a closet supporter?

If you answer 'Strike a loight, Meery Poppunz, vet's ver clab fer moi!' to five of the ten questions, read on for our cheat sheet, and off you go.

Checklist
1. Do you do a lot of shopping in Iceland (well, if it's good enough for Kerry Katona...), and appreciate a team with similar affiliations?

2. Can you 'andle yourself if things, you know, kick off? Are you, in short, a bit tasty?

3. Is it your dream to be interviewed about your escapades by an actor who once played a hooligan in a film and does a passable, if not truly plausible, cockney accent?

4. Do you long to go on holiday, then tell everyone when you come back that, in fact, it was to have an internet-arranged 'meet' with a rival 'firm'? Even if the only people you met were Dave and Margery from Pontefract.

5. Would it appeal to you to support a team whose friends in high places include the Football Association's Contract-Shredding Compliance Unit?

6. Despite the fact that you earn a fortune in media consultancy and dine each night in fashionable West End restaurants, do you maintain the pretence of being fond of jellied eels, cockles 'n' mussels and other stuff that tastes like a deep-sea diver's foot?

7. Are you a natural ducker-and-diver, and therefore drawn to a team whose alternative approach to the rulebook makes the average Kazakhstani Tour cyclist look like a model of upstanding moral decency?

8. Do you still wear knock-off Burberry baseball caps? What, still?

9. If someone criticises your club, do you want to e-mail them threatening to poo in their hair?

10. Do so many people hate you already that you may as well support a club that only attracts hate figures?

if so, find out more at the following User Posted Link

Posted By: blindasabat, Aug 7, 18:01:13