Handy questions when visiting Australia

Responses by the website officials

Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)

A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
Here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
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Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on
TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).

A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
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Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)

A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
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Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the railroad
Tracks (Sweden)?

A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles. Take lots of water.
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Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia? (USA)

A: A-Fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does
Not ... Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross. Come naked.
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Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule?
(USA)

A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
Is ... Oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings Cross,

Straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

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Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
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Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
Dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)

A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.

All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
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Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I forget
Its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)

A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out of Gum trees and eat

The brains of anyone walking underneath them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself

With human urine before you go out walking.
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Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)

A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
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Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
Population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)

A: Yes, gay night clubs.

Posted By: pants, Jul 30, 13:55:44