Joke

Dave came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking drunk, as
> he often did, and crept into bed beside his wife who was already asleep.
> He gave her a peck on the cheek and fell asleep.
>
> When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of his bed
> wearing a long flowing white Robe.
>
> "Who the hell are you?" demanded Dave, "and what are you doing in my
> bedroom?"
>
> The mysterious man answered "This isn't your bedroom and I'm St Peter."
> Dave was stunned "You mean I'm dead!?!! That can't be, I have so much
> to live for, I haven't said goodbye to my family. . . You've got to send
> me back straight away."
>
> St Peter replied "Yes, you can be reincarnated but there is a catch. We
> can only send you back as a dog or a hen."
>
> Dave was devastated, but knowing there was a farm not far from his
> house, he asked to be sent back as a hen. A flash of light later he was
> covered
> in feathers and clucking around pecking the ground.
>
> "This ain't so bad" he thought until he felt this strange feeling welling up
> inside him.
>
> The farmyard rooster strolled over and said "So you're the new hen, how
> are you enjoying your first day here?"
>
> "It's not so bad" replies Dave, "but I have this strange feeling inside
> like I'm about to explode."
>
> "You're ovulating" explained the rooster, "don't tell me you've never laid
> an egg before?"
>
> "Never!" replies Dave.
>
> "Well just relax and let it happen"
>
> So he did and after a few uncomfortable seconds later, an egg pops out
> from under his tail. An immense feeling of relief swept over him and his
> emotions got the better of him as he experienced motherhood for the first
> time.
>
> When he laid his second egg, the feeling of happiness was overwhelming and
> he knew that being reincarnated as a hen was the best thing that ever
> happened to him . . . Ever!!!
>
> The joy kept coming and as he was just about to lay his third egg he felt an
> enormous smack on the back of his head and heard his wife shouting...
>
>
> "Dave, wake up you drunken bastard, you've shat the bed.

Posted By: spermy, Jul 18, 16:03:38