i've done a few (i did one once and then all my other mates wanted me as their best man!)

forget trying to have any substance, just try to do four or five minutes of gags. If you keep them coming so the guests don't have time to laugh, they won't realise that they aren't funny. My favourite one was 'they say being asked to be the best man is a bit like being asked to f**k/snog the queen mum. It's a great honour, but no-one wants to do it.' Of course that one wouldn't work anymore, but i suppose you could adapt it. Start the speech with 'ladles and jellyspoons'. A good thing to do is give keys to loads of female guests (including some old laies, a pregnant girl etc) and at one point ask all the ladies who have the key to the groom's flat to bring them up to the front. Read out telegraphs/cards from fictitious people mixed in with the real ones. say you'd like to raise a toast and hold up a piece of toast. Oh i love speech making, i do.

Posted By: Dave in France, Jul 11, 20:15:54