some i've heard

all good things come to an end...and judy tells me richard's comes to an end at least two inches before it ought to

(obviously with the right names...)

if bride and/or groom is fat, refer to the fact that they are winning their brave battle with anorexia

say "i understand that i have to perform a rather unpleasant duty" while unbuttoning your shirt then stop and say "no hang on that's the groom isn't it, sorry"

refer to e.g. richard as "judy's first husband" or "judy's current husband" etc

say "judy passed me a note earlier (produce it) which says 'meet me upstairs for a good hard...ermmm...not sure i should be reading this out...'"

all of which seem really lame when i type them out but got good laughs (most weddings i have gone to involve a lot of alcohol which helps)

Posted By: Brendon Fearon, Jul 11, 19:35:16