A bloke's driving through the remote scottish highlands when he spies a weird looking old

guy hitching by the side of the road. He pulls over, and winds down the window. Before he can even say another word the bloke pulls a shotgun out, and motions the guy out of his car.

"Reet ye sassenach bastard, w**k yourself off!"

The bloke looks agog. "What?"

"Ye heard, w**k yerself aufff!"

The weird old guy waves the shotgun menacingly so the bloke does so, coming to a rather crap finish.

He looks up pitifully at the shotgun dude but he's not impressed.

"Do it again!"

The bloke cries, but once again the shotgun dude waves his weapon menacingly so the poor driver w**ks himself off again, barely a dribble escapes.

He looks to the shotgun dude.

"AGAIN!" screams the dude. The poor bloke is beside himself. His knob is killing him, his hands hurt and there's nothing left in the reserve tanks but once again he pulls his pud until nought but the barest of dry flakes comes out.

"AGAIN!" screams the shotgun guy. The poor bloke does so, this time he's pretty much mangled his knob into a shapeless mess and his nads resemble a couple of raisins, they're that empty.

He looks to the shotgun dude. The shotgun dude nods. "Stay there" he says and disappears behind a bush.

He comes back with this girl, the most amazing girl the driver's ever seen. An absolutely perfect pair of tits, short skirt, crop top, blond flowing locks, gorgeous face you'd crawl a thousand miles over broken doritos just to w**k on her shadow.

"This is my daughter Megan, can you drive her to Falkirk?"

Posted By: pants, Dec 4, 17:21:38