How to become Dion Dublin in 5 steps

From the Fiver in Euro 2000

FIVE STEPS TO DION DUBLIN

While viewing figures suggest that couch potatoes have been sticking with the BBC during Euro 2000 - the England Germany game saw Gary beat Des by 2-1 - there is a real cause for concern. That cause is, of course, the metal horn-blowing Dion Dublin.

Drafted in at the start of the tournament, Dion has single-handedly lowered the level of punditry to McInally-ian depths. Here, the Euro brings you five ways in which you can emulate the Aston Villa striker:

1. Offer very little insight into matches

2. Talk instead about how confident the lads are

3. Repeat what Mark Lawrenson said just a couple of seconds ago

4. Laugh at viewers when they dare to suggest that Paul Ince isn't that good

5. Wear the same blue shirt every day

Posted By: Steve in Holland, Sep 20, 12:38:52