So effing close

ONE sheet of Bog roll sonny. (As Follows):

Take one sheet of standard issue shiny toilet paper.
Tear small circular hole in middle.
Keep small piece of paper in your top pocket.
Place finger (index) through hole and wipe sphincter with digit.
Remove paper from finger, wiping up s**t on the way from base of digit to fingertip.
Use small piece of paper previously torn and clean finger nail.

Two sheets is only for Officers as they like to polish up after.

Posted By: Tomblander, Sep 8, 14:05:04