Don't get me started on the number 11 shirt

Could we get the two number ones in correct alignment on the back?

Well, no we couldn't. Took me and my gaffer Tezza ages ironing the transfer on and each time it was slightly off centre. I ended up contacting my union about it due to work-related stress and the risk of repetitive strain injury, and I've got an undertaking that in future I get a ten minute break every two hours when on ironing duty.

Turns out the problem was that each time, rather than rely on a UEFA-qualified assistant kit care professional like myself, the gaffer was letting Peter Mendham line the numbers up, and of course he was too pissed to get them straight. As soon as I found out I made him drive home and leave it to us experts.

Still it's done now but honestly what a nightmare. Assistant Kit Managing is a hard path to follow and weaker men might have thrown the towel in after that. But being only the assistant I'd have had to fish the towel out again afterwards, so what would have been the point?

Posted By: Assistant Kit Man, Aug 17, 11:00:53