You've missed some essential parts of my role

I have many onerous responsibilities ensuring rigorous checking of correct juxtapositioning of shirt, board and iron prior to the execution of actual ironing strokes by the Kit Manager. This is a safety critical role, because if I take too long to do it the material would wilt and then catch fire, causing the entire building to burn down with concomitant loss of life. Once I've a further year's training under my belt I'll be qualified to do this for shorts as well - at the moment the Kit Manager has to do these on his own, which I think you'll all agree is a very risky state of affairs.

Posted By: Assistant Kit Man, Aug 8, 17:22:23