That really resonated with me.

My father was similar. The youngest of seven children, 5 boys, his mum died when he was 5 and he was raised by a fairly brutal father. He oscillated between his desire to never be like his dad, when he was lovely and kind, and giving in to the dark spirits his childhood had created. During those periods (which my mum would call his dark moods, and which could last for months) you just had to steer clear of him. I felt no safety at home, just actual fear when he was in one of these moods, and nagging fear about when the next one would turn up. To be fair he was not often violent, but in terms of emotional chaos, was at the top of his game too often.

Apologies for sharing this stuff on a Sunday morn. Better out than in I suppose.

Posted By: Under soil heating, Nov 5, 11:23:19