My application for the Ipswich job...

...

Dear Mr. Sheepshanks,

I am a no-nonsense manager who operates a tight ship and can operate on low budgets. I operate a no-nonsense regime in which I accept no trouble from the players at my disposal ? I?ll happily remove any dead apples from my squad. I am a connoisseur of crisp, clean passing football and all the teams I have managed have played the aforementioned football; my aim is not only to get results, but also to entertain the miserable saps who squeeze together the remaining fragments of their giro cheques to watch your team play. Should the need arise; I?ll make my team play football about as attractive as your mascot.

In case you are wondering what qualities I bring to the job, I am a fully qualified coach (If you accept GCSEs and AS levels) who has vast experience on Football manager 2005 and 2006, and other management simulation games. I have won everything at English domestic level as well as the UEFA Cup and Champions league. I have even successfully guided England to the world cup on numerous occasions (P.S. I don?t cheat).

I also have GCSEs all ranging from A grade to C as well as AS levels and hopefully A levels in August. I feel I am an articulate, intelligent and respected individual.

I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience,

Robert R

P.S. I have no connections with Norwich Union or anyone else you have ripped off

Posted By: iwans_ex_dentist, May 11, 20:36:44