funnily enough I found a complete all expenses paid holiday to the dolomites

in the post this morning. it was addressed to my property but to someone else but i just open the mail and ding it in the bin or the burn bucket cos that's my routine. anyway i open up the big envelope and it contains a rather lovely little drybag from a company called "Alpine Exploratory" and I've got to be honest I've got three options now:

1. Be honest and ring up Alpine Exploratory and tell them they've done a f**k up and what would they like me to do about it, maybe send the pack onto Stephanie [redacted]? Sure thing just email me her address no worries.

2. Have a sex change and change my name by deed-poll to Stephanie [redacted] and go on the holiday up the Dolomites. Afterwards I can reverse the process no probs.

3. Ding the entire pack with details of flights, transfers, hotels, itinerary etc in the burn bin and retain the lovely little drybag for canoeing purposes.

Of course I opted for 1, why wouldn't I? Because I now know precisely when Stephanie [redacted] will be out of the country and I can burgle her house obviously. Much better than a poxy little drybag. #winning

Posted By: Tombs, Jul 19, 20:47:59