My AGM report

Got to the venue on time and lookin' fly.
I'd had 7 cans and my tea early doors, so I was in a good place mentally and spiritually.

All my questions were written out on my arms in glitter pen, as I was certain I would be searched by Delia's henchmen (I was). I was prepped and amped to debate these key points:

1- Webbers immediate resignation
2 - Farkes immediate resignation
3 - OTBC binned off pre-match in favour of M.O.P.'s Ante Up (Busta Rhymes remix)
4a - Beer prices reduced to £2 a pint. No more plastic s**t bottles. Demeaning.
4b - Tickets capped at £20 champ/£30 prem.
5 - Lower Barclay and River Ends standing only, 20% tickets to each pen taken off season ticket allocation and sold on match day only.
6 - Colney sold off for homebuilding, new training facilities constructed on the island near Thorpe river where them eco-snides were going to build an incinerator.
7 - Immediate appointment of Lambert on rolling 12 month contract.
8 - Basic player wage cap at £5k pw, the rest is tied up in appearance and win bonuses. Simple as.

But the grey powers that be locked me out. I was reduced to shouting my objections through the letterbox. This is how the world ends, not with a bang but with a whimper.

So I'll be starting a kickraiser to harvest funds to purchase all the shares I need for a very, very, hostile takeover. I've just declared war on Smith and Jones.

Posted By: MIKEWALKER, Nov 30, 14:18:36