Let's write our own

1) You greet your significant other each morning by:

a - snoring, farting, muttering something about a cup of tea would be nice then turning over pulling the covers over your head

b - smiling brightly and saying "croissants, freshly-squeezed orange juice, a pot of Earl Grey and a rose - here you are! By the way we seem to be fresh out of hydrofluoric acid, so can you pick me up a couple of gallons later?"

c - turning round in your chair as s/he comes downstairs, stroking your cat and saying "Ah, good morning. I've been expecting you".

2) The postie delivers next door's mail to your house by mistake. You react by:

a - calling them a useless c**t and putting the mail in the recycling bin, except the amazon package because the thin card is excellent roach material

b – smiling brightly and taking the mail to your neighbour straight away with a couple of fairy cakes in case they get hungry later, remarking what a lovely day it is and not mentioning that ricin has no determinable taste

c - steaming open all of their mail, adding the information to your database, then glueing the envelopes back again and bribing your kid to take it all next door

What other questions could we ask?

Posted By: Old Man, Aug 22, 21:53:22