Sit the f**k down and take out your moleskine.

I have two recipes now. One is super high sugar for days when I am particularly runny. The other is your more every-day granola, in case you want to eat granola every mother f**king day you're alive but don't want to be a bat fastard.

High sugar version:

Make a caramel sauce out of 250g sugar, 4tbsp water, and then 50g of butter (don't f**k me around with 'spread'. Butter) and 125g cream. Single, double, whatever.

Caution, this s**t gets hot as f**k, you do not want to have your progeny nipping your ankles while you make it.

Once that's cooled down, melt together 6 tbsp caramel, 6 tbsp golden syrup and 60g butter (stern look. Butter.) Stir into that 500g porridge oats and mix well. Spread that out over baking parchment on a couple of trays, and bake for 25 mins at 150?C

Healthier version for fannies:

Mix together 2 tbsp coconut oil, 125g carob fruit syrop (find it near the maple syrup in Sainos), 2 tbsp honey, 1 tsp good quality vanilla extract and 300g porridge oats. Bake as above.

When either are cooled mix in whatever dried fruits you like, and seeds and that. World's your oystercard there. Go nuts.

Posted By: Arizona Bay, May 31, 10:58:19