FAO Panda

Toss off some pancetta then get your shank nice and brown in the still-warm tossing off juices. Totally f**king pulverise two cloves of garlic in three lugs of your worst quality extra-claimstobevirginbutiknowshegaveleonardnimoyablowjobonce olive oil and rampantly thrust Britney's less attractive sister Rosemary Spears into the red moist meat. Balance on a mirepoix and slam in the lamb. Then get of the mirepoix, remembering to clean your shoes, and boil a small baboon or saute a macaque depending on what your bush meat dealer has for you.

Then shove three bamboo shoots up your arse and avoid sitting down until the lamb is cooked. I like this with a Ribena jus but you could use fridge-cooled jam doughnuts as earmuffs if you wanted to.

Posted By: Jamie Oliver, Jan 9, 15:27:46