Staurt McGregor does keep up his kilt

A caber, some porridge and four cans of Lilt
I said "What are you doing wearing that dressie?"
"Tradition", he says, "Let's go find Nessie"

Loch Ness comes into view
Puffed out, we both take a pew
On the edge of this infamous lake
Do I, and Stu

Eventually Nessie rears her ugly head
I kick at Stu lying on his bed
Of heather, moss and whisky flasks
"What? Ya Bastard!" he finally gasps

"It's Nessie, I tell you, it's Nessie, it's true!
Come have a look will ya Stu?"
Sty arises grunting and farting
Grass stains all over his tartan

"Quick", says Stu "Let's try and catch it"
He grabs his gun, I quickly snatch it
"No" I say, "We want her alive"
"Look out, she's beginning to dive", he says

Into a boat, alas there's no sail
Catching his sporran on a rusty nail
Stu says "It looks like hail"
I say "Shut up Stuart, it's not exactly the right juncture to be concerned with the weather right now really is it?"

The boat was no good and Nessie, she sank her
All Stuart's fault, the silly old pratt
We made our way home sad and forlorn
"Stop snivelling Stu" I say with scorn

At home, Stu looks for the wife
He can't find her, it causes him strife
He looks at me "Don't take the piss"
"Come help me find where the old hagg is"

Posted By: malkybarkid, Jan 6, 15:24:07