Toss off some pancetta

Sling two lugs of your f**king third best extra virgin olive oil together with a f**king bellend of your second worst utter slag pecan oil into the f**king rendered fat from the f**king pancetta, sear a sprig of f**king rosemary, open a pack of f**king quinoa and scream "what am I a f**king metrosexual hippie c**t" before chucking it in the f**king bin, go back to your f**king saut? pan, bung in some pine nuts, ring some f**king red onions and chuck them in as well, shake it all about to anything by f**king Jamiroquai, it's all s**t, add some curdled mouse vomit and three shakes of freshly minted black coriander seeds, wiggle those hips - you little tiger! - f**k all the pan s**t, rub some garlic, mint, freshly crushed black peppercorns into the steaks - don't just waft over the f**king top, really rub it in there - then grill for a few minutes each side till the outside's as crispy as the scabs on the puppet bastard's perineum and the middle's as pink and moist as the insides of your cat's pencil sharpener, bung it on a salad of rocket and baby spinach, grate over some f**king pecorino and Bob would be your Auntie if only he didn't have any bollocks.

Posted By: Jamie Oliver, Aug 2, 19:01:01

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