I was on stage at the first gig I attended

in my role as Third Guard.

Traditional narratives downplay the critical, central role of this character. Some would posit it unlikely that a Nazarene stable would even have any Roman soldiers guarding it at all. To which I would simply point out that not only would rustling have prevented there being any cattle to do any lowing at all, but if some pervert was buggering the sheep the shepherds would have been too busy applying their crooks in a vigorous manner to watch their flocks at night while seated on the ground.

I like to think that my seminal performance in this ground-breaking production served as inspiration for 300, Gladiator and many other subsequent Hollywood hits.

Posted By: Old Man, Feb 14, 12:07:42