Been a late day that's my problem today and I'm bored of being me I suppose, nothing is on

time, nobody comes on time. Got my aims, especially fitness wise, just waiting for my brother to ring and he's late. He's never late although he called to say he would be late. Everyones late today. Just seems as I do everything I'm told, take the injections and tablets and nothing happens. I'm never late at the moment. I'm up early, I don't sleep in. I'm ready for it and nothing happens. I sleep nearly exactly 8 hrs now so I should be perfect. I hate it. I wish I could just be part of the world. I wish it was real, I wish I wasn't numb, I wish I could see why WHY WHY the sky is blue and not be numb. I just want an end really. Yesterday I felt alive, today I've posted, been apart of everything yet nothing, just nothing. I know it's a fight against the numbness but today I've not won. I could chop my arm off and it wouldn't hurt, that's today. I won't, because in the end it would hurt, but I that's how it is. Somedays it's leave me alone you device in my brain but it takes no prisoners and doesn't listen. Everyday, after an hour of waking up the fight starts. Somedays it's hard to think you'll win. I will win. I love wrath. :D

Posted By: DrDublin, Oct 10, 18:50:55