You hit the nail on the head with your post about the heat

Larger animals have more trouble shedding excess heat as surface area increases more slowly with size that volume. This applies to humans : I myself make Holt look positively svelte and perform much better both mentally and physically in cooler weather. Pratchett readers will recognise a similar phenomenon in Sgt Detritus.

My proposed solution is to graft a pair of genetically engineered elephant ears onto Holt's head. Not only would these allow him to cool more quickly in warmer conditions but also might allow him to hang glide and obtain an advantage in going for headers.

I also wonder whether he needs an eye test. IF you are a bit short-sighted it can be difficult to see exactly what is going on more than half a pitch away (again I speak from experience, it's why I listen to Radio Norfolk while watching from the River End). I noticed yesterday and it was confirmed by someone on Canary Call that he was jumping too early; I think he is seeing movement of the keeper kicking it out but not clearly and so guessing at when to jump. There are any number of comics/comedy films in which our hero dons specs and is transformed into a world beater.

Posted By: watfordcanary, Sep 16, 12:46:05