So anyway, I was in the pub the other night...

...and my mate suddenly held the palm of his hand up to his ear and mouth and started talking.

When he'd finished he put his hand back into his pocket and turned to me to continue our conversation.

"What was that all about?" I asked.

"Oh you mean the talking to my hand thing? It's one of those new Nokia implant phones. It's really clever, you can't even see it's there".

Having inspected his hand I agreed you could see no trace of the implant and with that we both went back to drinking.

Later on my mate went to the bog and was gone for quite some time so in the end I decided to look for him to see if he was alright. When I entered the gents I received a shocking surprise. He was standing facing the far wall, hands up above his head, trousers around his ankles, slightly bent over with a roll of toilet paper hanging out of his arse.

"What the f**k are you doing?" I exclaimed.

"Eh, who me? Won't be a jiffy, I've got a fax coming though".

Posted By: Fierce Panda, Oct 27, 16:08:09