Warning to Squiggles

What you have stumbled on is bigger than you can imagine.

Robert Chase has been secretly feeding monkey gland chemicals to Norwich City players and Martin O'Neill, using Chris Sutton in the latter case.

Until very recently, how he has done this for the current squad has been in question.

Now however it is becoming clear. The monkey glands in question come from a certain type of monkey that is not found in this country.

They are, however, very prevalent in Hong Kong.

David Blunkett was not only fast-tracking his mistresses nanny's visa. He has also made sure that XXL16 will come to this country any time Norwich seem to be turning a corner SO THAT HE CAN SECRETLY SPRAY THE ENTIRE SQUAD WITH MONKEY GLAND CHEMICALS using a special hidden spray gun secretly devised by the CIA for use against Mormons. XXL16 is himself totally unaware of this having been brainwashed using special techniques developed by the KGB for use on Lithuanian sparrows but subsequently found to be very effective in Kyrgyzstan
- a nation state which was only ever created in the first place to allow the head of MI6 to score lots of points in the annual MI5 vs MI6 Proper Nouns Only Scrabble contest.

Now you have unwittingly stumbled upon this plot you are in grave danger. You must either flee the country, rearrange your cushions according to the principles of Fung Shui, or eat three portions of lard-coated pigeons' feet every week. ANYTHING ELSE WILL RESULT IN YOU BECOMING A MINDLESS ZOMBIE UNDER THE DIRECT CONTROL OF ROBERT CHASE!

FACT!

Posted By: Conspiracy Theorist, Oct 24, 13:48:30