So, I was walking down the street last week and I look across the street to see a bloke

going the other way who has an orange for a head.

"Fuck me, that bloke's got an orange for a head" I thought. Anyway I thought I'd never forgive myself if I didn't ask why. So I cross the road and approach the bloke saying "Excuse me, mate I couldn't help but notice you've got an orange for a head". "That's right", he says "I have".

"Do you mind me asking how that came about?" I asked.

"Well", the gentleman replies, "It's a funny story actually - my Gran died last week and I was over at her house clearing up in the loft when I came across this old, brass lamp. I gave it a quick buff up with my sleeve and this Genie pops up out of nowhere, and says "I grant you three wishes!"

So I thought about it for a while, and for my first wish i asked for a million pounds in used notes to appear on my bed, the genie clicked his fingers and told me to go home and check my bedroom. So I went home and, lo and behold, there it was - a million pounds in used notes lying on top of my bed".

"Blimey" I said, "Is that true? What happened next?"

"Damn straight, it is my little pumpkin" said the man. "Then the genie pops up again and asks me what my second wish will be. I thought for a while then asked him if every young lady that I had ever fantasised about ever, could suddenly appear naked on top of the money and fulfill my every last sexual desire.

"Fuck my old boots!" I said "Did that wish come true as well?"

"Happy days!" the man replied, "Indeed it did, a most pleasurable and sticky afternoon"

"Crikey and flip, so what was your last wish?" I ask.

"Well, then I wished I could have an orange for a head" he replied.

Posted By: malkybarkid, Mar 7, 13:03:51