Very old

For some reason I smiled when I got an email with these two very old specimens on. I must be going senile.

---

I went to the store the other day and I was in there
for only about 5 minutes. When I came out there was
a damn motorcycle cop writing a parking ticket.

So I went up to him and said, "Come on, buddy, how
about giving me a break?" He ignored me and
continued writing the ticket.

So I called him a pencil-necked Nazi. He glared at
me and started writing another ticket for having
worn tires!

So I called him a piece of horse s**t. He finished
the second ticket and put it on the windshield with
the first. Then he started writing a third ticket!

This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused
him, the more tickets he wrote. I didn't care. My
car was parked around the corner.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where
she selected

a half-gallon of 2% milk,
a carton of eggs,
a quart of orange juice,
a head of romaine lettuce,
a 2 lb. can of coffee,
and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt
to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as
she placed the
items in front of the cashier.

While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the
drunk calmly stated, "You must be single"

The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition,
since she was
indeed single.

She looked at her six items on the belt and saw
nothing particularly unusual about her selections
that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital
status.

Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well,
you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on
earth did you
know that?"

The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly"

Posted By: Partial Angler, Oct 13, 17:21:22