Anyway, Charles - Japanese weird fillums

No, I didn't mean films like Oldboy. Oldboy was brilliant, the best revenge movie I've ever seen. No, I mean WEIRD movies that the Japanese churn out by the dozen, apparently.

OK many of them turn out just to be gore and splattery films, often involving schoolgirls, often either killing zombies (the subtly titled Bigtits Zombie 3d, lol) or being killed for being zombies (Stacey), but if you're prepared for the odd disappointment (Tokyo Gore Police) you can find some truly strange movies out there. The title is rarely an indication of what's to come.

The oddest one I've seen so far is Funky Forest: 2.5 hrs of What The fully fledged, numbers-up, model professional FUCK is going on here? Here's a clip:

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Then there's Survive Style 5+, featuring our own Vinnie Jones, who manages to be the worst thing in it. The film begins with a man burying the wife he's just murdered. He goes home, and she's waiting for him. She's made a banquet for 50 people. He eats the whole lot. As soon as he's finished she beats the shiny f**k out of him. He fights back: eventually he prevails, and goes out and buries her again. When he gets home, she's there again, and this time she doesn't bother with any banquets and just beats the s**t out of him again. And so on.

I really enjoyed The Undead Pool, which apparently was originally released with the title Attack Girls Swim Team Versus The Undead. Not the best title as a) it would've put many off and b) the girls swim team only goes up against the undead in one scene, and it's brief, and doesn't go well for the swim team. The best bit was the ending: OK, so she's paralysed by nerve toxin, stripped naked on the floor, and her adversary is just doing a monologue before he finishes her off. How's she going to get out of this one?.............................. fair play, I didn't see THAT coming.

A special mention for Mutant Girls Squad, which is like a live-action japanese weirdo-cartoon. Trailer here:

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Er, where to begin? OK: the girl with the samurai swords for tits dies when her head is cut off, because the girl with octopus arms threw the girl with the chainsaw arse at her. The police squad tasked with killing the mutant girls all feature helmets with nose guns: yes, the bullets fire from the nose. Brilliant for aiming but possibly a bastard for flash and glare, and no explanation of the ammo feed system. I can't begin to describe the last five minutes. I've tried, with my mates, but I can't put it into words that can easily be imagined.

I could go on but I doubt anyone cares. You don't know what you're missing.

Posted By: Sugbad The Bad, Jan 16, 20:04:32